Recently, several of my favorite BDSM bloggers have chimed in on their mutual frustrations with the state of male chastity devices being sold today. For instance, Ms. Alice writes about her experience trying to get a male chastity device that works. Ms. Claudia echoes the sentiment as well. I have to agree; it is a frustrating state of affairs, that’s for sure, that an effective male chastity device is so hard to find. No single device is good for everyone and the state of the art is downright medieval.
Until such a time as a truly effective male chastity device can be created, I think it’s necessary that orgasm denial be partly a matter of trust and strength in the relationship. My girlfriend and I have had similar frustrations with devices, but also are very keen on the notion that my denial is by her will alone. Frankly, sometimes it’s a lot harder for me that way because even though I desperately want to get release, I don’t give it to myself even though I can. The temptation can be maddening sometimes.
That said, there is a place dear to my heart for enforced orgasm denial, to the point where my will truly breaks and I do whatever I can to get relief physically. With the CB-3000 we have now, that fantasy is still just a fantasy because I can achieve a sort of orgasm while still locked inside it, though admittedly not one that is really satisfying at all.
Still, there is no denying the logic that chastity devices are intended (as far as most people are concerned) to effectively hand over 100% of the control to the keyholder. Putting the question of whether a physical device will ever be able to be that effetive aside, the percentage we’re looking at now won’t get near 100% unless the state of the art improves.
I wonder, then, if perhaps the next generation of chastity devices won’t be physical contraptions at all, but rather a drug. Or maybe even a nasal spray? Just imagine the possibilities. ;)
March 2nd, 2007 at 1:40 pm
Hi maymay!
Orgasm denial is absolutely necessary to Me. It’s the second thing I asked from slave when we got into the D/s (the first was sissyfication).
Although we haven’t got a chastity yet, i’ve accomplished something that in the beginning i thought it was ompossible.
Orgasm control of slave. And not just this but also, i managed to persuade him that he must NOT touch his dick at all.
He remains denied for as long as i order him to.
And you know why? Because he respects me.
However, that’s not enough.
I insist on searching for a reliable chastit because i want him to never forget that he’s under control.
I want him to have this feeling every second of the day!
I’m very close to make the patent of the chastity i thought come true.
I’ll let you all know!
Good luck with your blog :)
March 2nd, 2007 at 3:23 pm
All Alexandra has to do is say is “Don’t” and I won’t. For me a chastity device is a sort of portable bondage that has me physically under her control even when I’m at work. Or would be, I don’t have the cash.
But my point is that it is a means for extending our D/s dynamic into otherwise “vanilla” space.
I do have at least a couple of men I know who when they tell me what they wear works that I believe them.
Aside from the well known big three there are devices that are custom made. Also a few things that can’t be evaded but could never be invisible under a pair of pants. All of them are very expensive.
March 14th, 2007 at 2:39 pm
Ms Alice:
Orgasm control (and denial, of course) is also necessary to me. I never thought it would be so crucial a part of my relationship with my D/s relationship with my girlfriend and Mistress but it is, and I am so happy to know that it isalso a big and important part of it for her.
Congratulations on your success with your slave! While orgasm denial was something that my girlfriend was always interested in, the initial impulse to make that a big part of our relationship came from me. I am wondering how a submissive male would react to orgasm denial when it was (perhaps only initially) imposed by his dominant partner.
Also, thanks for the kind words! I wish you much success with your patent on the chastity device you are creating. Frankly, if it’s effective and comfortable then I’m already sold.
richard:
Chastity devices certainly are bondage devices, and that’s a large part of why I am so in love with them (bondage is my core kink). Nevertheless, I’ve always felt emotionally bound, so to speak, when I am under orgasm rations or other control, and this feels more like mind control than bondage, though the two are obviously related and parallel.
I would love to find a chastity device that makes it truly impossible for me to have an orgasm, but honestly I think such a device does not (yet) exist. And even if one did, I like the idea of being tempted by pleasure and challenged by voluntary denial at some points.
I think I need both parts of the coin to feel fulfilled in this way: I want her to want me to willingly deny myself for her, but I also want her to tempt me beyond my control and yet still not enable me to orgasm.
Is this too much to ask?
September 24th, 2008 at 3:19 am
[...] keep in mind that no chastity device is proven 100% effective 100% of the time. Staying chaste, not orgasming until your partner “permits” you to, is [...]
October 11th, 2008 at 11:40 am
LOL, I have to admit they do kinda suck, the ones out there today, maybe in 10 years down the line we will look back and laugh at the design of say… the CB2000. Some ultimate, intelligent, stylish, light and attractive design will come out and then the guys will all be f$#ked. :D
But totally agree, much room for improvement. ;)
Today, piercings are almost the only way to go, and friends of mine got infections and that’s fucking scary, maybe I make too much a deal out of it but it’s like urm… right down there! Maybe piercing just above the penis, at least might not be so scary… can’t they do that? Like just have a slot for the CB that slides in and locks there. No pullout? Donno, I’m just the male, I don’t spend much energy on thinking how not too… if you know what I mean? :D
October 11th, 2008 at 12:15 pm
@lelion: I do spend much of my time thinking about how to orgasm and how enforced orgasm denial might work, even though I’m the one ultimately going to
sufferenjoy the experience. If I were a more crafty sort of guy, I would totally be working on how to make better chastity devices for men. This is like the definition of a golden business opportunity, is it not?October 12th, 2008 at 3:58 am
Some of the devices that use piercings look workable, but these devices aren’t exactly the kind of thing you can get a refund on if it doesn’t work for you. Plus, a lot of the people selling these kinds of devices are sexist fucknoodles, so I refuse to buy from them.
Since I already have a couple piercings, I’d like to check into that kind of device; the problem is that even with this added level of security, the reviews I read are still mixed. That’s the main thing holding me back.
Plus, as someone who works with very powerful magnetic fields, an all-metal device wouldn’t work unless it’s something that’s not ferromagnetic, like stainless or aluminum.
October 12th, 2008 at 1:02 pm
@roo-roo: Powerful magnetic fields? Um. Awesome.
October 16th, 2008 at 11:26 am
“My girlfriend and I have had similar frustrations with devices, but also are very keen on the notion that my denial is by her will alone. Frankly, sometimes it’s a lot harder for me that way because even though I desperately want to get release, I don’t give it to myself even though I can. The temptation can be maddening sometimes.”
Yes! That’s what I was doing with Boy Toy, and I loved it. It’s like mental bondage, and I love that Boy Toy’s submission to me is constantly put to the test this way. He knows this, and I imagine that’s what keeps him in check.
We’ve used the CB6000 as well, but I don’t know, I don’t find it that practical. The idea of the “device” is fun and all, but I just don’t trust this one much. Don’t tell me he couldn’t break out of it if he really wanted to! I’ve been lusting after the Steelwerks Chastity Cage, though. Metal, Hmmmmmmm
October 16th, 2008 at 11:35 am
@Elle:
This is actually true with all mechanical belts, despite what the literature for each one asserts. With enough smarts, any man could figure out ways to subvert the chastity he is subjected to because we simply don’t yet have the prerequisite understanding of how to biochemically control orgasms today. I’m looking forward to the kinky possibilities when that day comes, but until then, this is why I call “chastity devices” orgasm deterrent devices instead of orgasm denial devices.
Also, yes, the metal is soooo lust-worthy. :)