Comments on: New erotica: Good boy, good pet http://maybemaimed.com/2007/03/14/new-erotica-good-boy-good-pet/ Because 'kinky' is an adjective, not an activity Tue, 07 Feb 2012 16:25:25 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: maymay http://maybemaimed.com/2007/03/14/new-erotica-good-boy-good-pet/#comment-42 maymay Fri, 23 Mar 2007 19:22:00 +0000 http://maybemaimed.com/2007/03/14/new-erotica-good-boy-good-pet/#comment-42 <em>If I were your editor I would tie your story up and make lots of tiny, tiny cuts all over it.</em><br/><br/>:) That sounds thrilling. I'd love to see your edits of the story. Or even better, a story of your own...? If I were your editor I would tie your story up and make lots of tiny, tiny cuts all over it.

:) That sounds thrilling. I’d love to see your edits of the story. Or even better, a story of your own…?

]]> By: Bitchy Jones http://maybemaimed.com/2007/03/14/new-erotica-good-boy-good-pet/#comment-31 Bitchy Jones Mon, 19 Mar 2007 13:45:00 +0000 http://maybemaimed.com/2007/03/14/new-erotica-good-boy-good-pet/#comment-31 Well its not so much a matter of making the story more X or less Y. It's just if you have adjectives you don't need your sentences can be a bit baggy and the rhythm isn't as tight. <br/><br/>If I were your editor I would tie your story up and make lots of tiny, tiny cuts all over it. Well its not so much a matter of making the story more X or less Y. It’s just if you have adjectives you don’t need your sentences can be a bit baggy and the rhythm isn’t as tight.

If I were your editor I would tie your story up and make lots of tiny, tiny cuts all over it.

]]> By: maymay http://maybemaimed.com/2007/03/14/new-erotica-good-boy-good-pet/#comment-28 maymay Mon, 19 Mar 2007 06:55:00 +0000 http://maybemaimed.com/2007/03/14/new-erotica-good-boy-good-pet/#comment-28 Mistress 160:<br/><br/>Thank you!!<br/><br/>Bitchy Jones:<br/><br/>Also, thank you! What is it precisely that you feel could be improved by my use of less...exhaustive adjectives? Is it simply that the writing would be more blunt, more focused on actions rather than descriptions?<br/><br/>And, dare I ask, what sort of prolonged torture do you want to read me write about?<br/><br/>:)<br/><br/>And finally, apologies for responding so tardily. The weekend was spent with a strong focus on spending time with Eileen, who has finally returned from her trip overseas. Mistress 160:

Thank you!!

Bitchy Jones:

Also, thank you! What is it precisely that you feel could be improved by my use of less…exhaustive adjectives? Is it simply that the writing would be more blunt, more focused on actions rather than descriptions?

And, dare I ask, what sort of prolonged torture do you want to read me write about?

:)

And finally, apologies for responding so tardily. The weekend was spent with a strong focus on spending time with Eileen, who has finally returned from her trip overseas.

]]> By: Bitchy Jones http://maybemaimed.com/2007/03/14/new-erotica-good-boy-good-pet/#comment-20 Bitchy Jones Fri, 16 Mar 2007 13:01:00 +0000 http://maybemaimed.com/2007/03/14/new-erotica-good-boy-good-pet/#comment-20 This was great. I'll tell you why. Because I love reading stuff from the male subs POV, and yet, most such stuff is so awful and obsessed with potraying the dom woman as some kind of perfect utterly emotionally-detached goddess. (I'm sure you know the stuff I mean). But that just stops me at the door. That woman could never be me and I'm gone.<br/><br/>So that's why your story totally worked for me. And I mean that in the one-handed read sense. And you made me come with fucking strap-on sex, and I hate strap-on sex... so props.<br/><br/>Oh, now, your writing could be sharpened up if you get a little more brutal with yourself about your use of adjectives. If you don't need them, lose them. You'll be surprised how much that can zing stuff up.<br/><br/>Now write more stuff, with more caning and begging and edging and put some clamps in next time and some really prolonged torture<br/><br/>BJ x This was great. I’ll tell you why. Because I love reading stuff from the male subs POV, and yet, most such stuff is so awful and obsessed with potraying the dom woman as some kind of perfect utterly emotionally-detached goddess. (I’m sure you know the stuff I mean). But that just stops me at the door. That woman could never be me and I’m gone.

So that’s why your story totally worked for me. And I mean that in the one-handed read sense. And you made me come with fucking strap-on sex, and I hate strap-on sex… so props.

Oh, now, your writing could be sharpened up if you get a little more brutal with yourself about your use of adjectives. If you don’t need them, lose them. You’ll be surprised how much that can zing stuff up.

Now write more stuff, with more caning and begging and edging and put some clamps in next time and some really prolonged torture

BJ x

]]> By: Mistress160 http://maybemaimed.com/2007/03/14/new-erotica-good-boy-good-pet/#comment-19 Mistress160 Fri, 16 Mar 2007 06:40:00 +0000 http://maybemaimed.com/2007/03/14/new-erotica-good-boy-good-pet/#comment-19 Wonderful last line, in your story!<br/><br/>(the rests not bad either!) Wonderful last line, in your story!

(the rests not bad either!)

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