Wow. Wow. Wow…

Also, I just wanted to say that I totally get this: “I still don’t want to be sexual but I want her to force me to be sexual with her anyway. I am not so naive as to be perplexed by how these two seemingly contradictory feelings could possibly be within me at once…”

Yes.

I am very familiar with what you describe in terms of not wanting to but wanting to be made to. Sometimes – like the occasion here – being made to works out well, not to say amazingly so. Sometimes it’s been utterly bloody disastrous. I’m a bit more nervous about such things recently as a result of one too many utterly disastrous incidents (& some other stuff). Not necessarily the ideal reaction.

Another example of my contention that we become more skilled at using language to avoid what we really want to communicate.

Nice turn-around, though. Good on the both of yers.

May, I think this is your best post yet.

Thanks, Calico.

I think red toenails would be very cute on you — classic.

Ooh, good call. Red would also match my hair. :) In which case I’d want to do my fingernails, too.

I think red toenails would be very cute on you — classic. Black is a poor choice for toenails, because when it chips or grows out, it looks like you have had a horrible toenail accident.

I think we need to get together, paint our toenails, and talk about the lovely people who fuck us.

I’m debating whether I want to do black nailpolish, which has so many fond “look, I’m an angsty teenager!” memories, or some kind of neon color. :)

I love the sense of your mind being betrayed by your body, although in a more romantic way it’s your heart winning out over your ego.

Fluence, I’d say in this case the situation was more like the latter one you describe. But, there are often very opposing influences that struggle for control over my reactions. It’s sometimes very unpleasant.

Funnily enough, I actually quoted your post this morning without having read it (the phrase, incidentally, was “hold me while I come”). The conversation that followed would have amused you, in that hey-ain’t-language-effed-up way:

Maja: … and hold me while I come.
Tyr: (Propping himself up on an elbow) Wait, are you quoting May’s post?

Maja: Which one?

Tyr: The most recent one.
Maja: (Internal monologue: about halloween??) How would I know if it’s the most recent one if I haven’t read the most… shut up, you know what I mean. Now, how about that orgasm?

Also, we talk about you in bed! Ten points to Gryffindor!

The real point is, thanks for the insightful post. And I think we need to get together, paint our toenails, and talk about the lovely people who fuck us.