Comments on: While fucking, I prefer to get fucked http://maybemaimed.com/2007/11/26/while-fucking-i-prefer-to-get-fucked/ Because 'kinky' is an adjective, not an activity Tue, 07 Feb 2012 16:25:25 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Orgasm Denial Does Not Submissive Men Make « Maybe Maimed but Never Harmed http://maybemaimed.com/2007/11/26/while-fucking-i-prefer-to-get-fucked/#comment-247630 Orgasm Denial Does Not Submissive Men Make « Maybe Maimed but Never Harmed Tue, 22 Nov 2011 03:43:50 +0000 http://maybemaimed.com/2007/11/26/while-fucking-i-prefer-to-get-fucked/#comment-247630 [...] of your personal experience, I’d urge you to avoid linking any sex act to any intention, even “for you,” even if it’s your fetish. The stereotypical view of orgasm [...] [...] of your personal experience, I’d urge you to avoid linking any sex act to any intention, even “for you,” even if it’s your fetish. The stereotypical view of orgasm [...]

]]> By: Sunshine http://maybemaimed.com/2007/11/26/while-fucking-i-prefer-to-get-fucked/#comment-128938 Sunshine Fri, 25 Mar 2011 20:07:16 +0000 http://maybemaimed.com/2007/11/26/while-fucking-i-prefer-to-get-fucked/#comment-128938 Your blog simultaneously inspires me and makes me wanna cry. I've got so many articles up now it'll take me all week to read 'em all. This scene... with its identities and roles and expectations.... it is so disheartening and discouraging. People have these neat little categories that they want to shove your sexuality into whether it fits or not. Not for the first time reading your blog have I wished we were less similar and more complementary desire-wise. Instead, I feel and share your frustration without being of the right mindset to do anything about it. Some day I'd like to meet. I think we could be friends. Your blog simultaneously inspires me and makes me wanna cry. I’ve got so many articles up now it’ll take me all week to read ‘em all.

This scene… with its identities and roles and expectations…. it is so disheartening and discouraging. People have these neat little categories that they want to shove your sexuality into whether it fits or not.

Not for the first time reading your blog have I wished we were less similar and more complementary desire-wise. Instead, I feel and share your frustration without being of the right mindset to do anything about it.

Some day I’d like to meet. I think we could be friends.

]]> By: Breaking Pornography’s Fourth Wall: Erotic satisfaction as a function of gaze « Maybe Maimed but Never Harmed http://maybemaimed.com/2007/11/26/while-fucking-i-prefer-to-get-fucked/#comment-117316 Breaking Pornography’s Fourth Wall: Erotic satisfaction as a function of gaze « Maybe Maimed but Never Harmed Wed, 23 Feb 2011 06:09:56 +0000 http://maybemaimed.com/2007/11/26/while-fucking-i-prefer-to-get-fucked/#comment-117316 [...] may enjoy stereotypical mainstream porn because they "identify with"8 the woman "getting fucked." Or, given an image with a traditional "male gaze" such as the one above, some [...] [...] may enjoy stereotypical mainstream porn because they “identify with”8 the woman “getting fucked.” Or, given an image with a traditional “male gaze” such as the one above, some [...]

]]> By: Oh, RAGE « beyond the hills http://maybemaimed.com/2007/11/26/while-fucking-i-prefer-to-get-fucked/#comment-5218 Oh, RAGE « beyond the hills Sun, 19 Oct 2008 19:00:50 +0000 http://maybemaimed.com/2007/11/26/while-fucking-i-prefer-to-get-fucked/#comment-5218 [...] This makes my blood [...] [...] This makes my blood [...]

]]> By: maymay http://maybemaimed.com/2007/11/26/while-fucking-i-prefer-to-get-fucked/#comment-5192 maymay Sat, 18 Oct 2008 09:38:09 +0000 http://maybemaimed.com/2007/11/26/while-fucking-i-prefer-to-get-fucked/#comment-5192 @Lula-Neith Cache: You're welcome. I think that the day when men whose experience of sexuality is more like mine becomes legitimized is the day when I'll stop getting thanked for writing stuff like this. I eagerly await that day. Good luck finding those men near you who are like me. :) Hopefully just advertising your own interest in finding such a man will be all that's needed for success. @Lula-Neith Cache: You’re welcome. I think that the day when men whose experience of sexuality is more like mine becomes legitimized is the day when I’ll stop getting thanked for writing stuff like this. I eagerly await that day.

Good luck finding those men near you who are like me. :) Hopefully just advertising your own interest in finding such a man will be all that’s needed for success.

]]> By: Lula-Neith Cache http://maybemaimed.com/2007/11/26/while-fucking-i-prefer-to-get-fucked/#comment-5191 Lula-Neith Cache Sat, 18 Oct 2008 08:37:29 +0000 http://maybemaimed.com/2007/11/26/while-fucking-i-prefer-to-get-fucked/#comment-5191 Thank you for writing this. Thank you for existing and writing and proving that you exist; therefore proving other men of a similar mindset might be found. Perhaps near me! :) Thank you for writing this. Thank you for existing and writing and proving that you exist; therefore proving other men of a similar mindset might be found. Perhaps near me! :)

]]> By: Prophet King Governance Press » links for 2008-06-13 http://maybemaimed.com/2007/11/26/while-fucking-i-prefer-to-get-fucked/#comment-3489 Prophet King Governance Press » links for 2008-06-13 Fri, 13 Jun 2008 04:33:37 +0000 http://maybemaimed.com/2007/11/26/while-fucking-i-prefer-to-get-fucked/#comment-3489 [...] Maybe Maimed but Never Harmed › While fucking, I prefer to get fucked (tags: masculinity sexuality bsdm) [...] [...] Maybe Maimed but Never Harmed › While fucking, I prefer to get fucked (tags: masculinity sexuality bsdm) [...]

]]> By: curious4uboth http://maybemaimed.com/2007/11/26/while-fucking-i-prefer-to-get-fucked/#comment-828 curious4uboth Tue, 04 Dec 2007 09:51:22 +0000 http://maybemaimed.com/2007/11/26/while-fucking-i-prefer-to-get-fucked/#comment-828 ok: Breaking things down to the core..I now know I like sensualities from both M/F perspectives, top/bottom whatever(s) and am just sorry it took so long to acknowledge and understand such. S ok: Breaking things down to the core..I now know I like sensualities from both M/F perspectives, top/bottom whatever(s) and am just sorry it took so long to acknowledge and understand such.
S

]]> By: curious4uboth http://maybemaimed.com/2007/11/26/while-fucking-i-prefer-to-get-fucked/#comment-827 curious4uboth Tue, 04 Dec 2007 09:31:37 +0000 http://maybemaimed.com/2007/11/26/while-fucking-i-prefer-to-get-fucked/#comment-827 Distinctions among those of us who R eagerly accomodating and desperately receptive/ and pre-cohesive 4 1 another.... as predisposed & instinctively ready 2 be wide astride accepted, openly accomodating, w/craved perspectives and mirror imaged vulgarity... aligned to complement beyond the heterogenous not maligned as that which violated such as the magnanomous!!! Distinctions among those of us who R eagerly accomodating and desperately receptive/ and pre-cohesive 4 1 another…. as predisposed & instinctively ready 2 be wide astride accepted, openly accomodating, w/craved perspectives and mirror imaged vulgarity… aligned to complement beyond the heterogenous not maligned as that which violated such as the magnanomous!!!

]]> By: maymay http://maybemaimed.com/2007/11/26/while-fucking-i-prefer-to-get-fucked/#comment-799 maymay Fri, 30 Nov 2007 15:27:58 +0000 http://maybemaimed.com/2007/11/26/while-fucking-i-prefer-to-get-fucked/#comment-799 <blockquote>Every instance I find of assertive, well-adjusted, happy male submissives makes me feel better.</blockquote> It's been my experience that assertive, well-adjusted, happy male submissives don't find the BDSM "Scene" to their liking, for obvious reasons. I was certainly, and am still struggling in some ways, to be happy, or assertive, and though I am much more well-adjusted now I certainly was not when I first found that community. I've seen happy, assertive, well-adjusted people of all stripes come to TES meetings and the like and then never, ever return. I'm even friends with a few of those people now. There are countless others. I am amazed at why more people don't question why that is. <blockquote>You are right about Bitchy, she is an awesome sexy writer, however I often feel that as much as she is indignant at the pressure to fit the stereotypical domme image, she doesn’t deviate from focusing on an idealized macho version of male submission.</blockquote> I feel that too, though I wouldn't begrudge her that; that's what gets her off. Seems logical that she should focus on it and there really isn't enough of that to go around in this community, either. I'm all for a greater understanding of differences in male male submission. :)

Every instance I find of assertive, well-adjusted, happy male submissives makes me feel better.

It’s been my experience that assertive, well-adjusted, happy male submissives don’t find the BDSM “Scene” to their liking, for obvious reasons. I was certainly, and am still struggling in some ways, to be happy, or assertive, and though I am much more well-adjusted now I certainly was not when I first found that community.

I’ve seen happy, assertive, well-adjusted people of all stripes come to TES meetings and the like and then never, ever return. I’m even friends with a few of those people now. There are countless others. I am amazed at why more people don’t question why that is.

You are right about Bitchy, she is an awesome sexy writer, however I often feel that as much as she is indignant at the pressure to fit the stereotypical domme image, she doesn’t deviate from focusing on an idealized macho version of male submission.

I feel that too, though I wouldn’t begrudge her that; that’s what gets her off. Seems logical that she should focus on it and there really isn’t enough of that to go around in this community, either. I’m all for a greater understanding of differences in male male submission. :)

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