All good questions. I have my own opinions. They can mostly be found under the label “bitter and jealous” on this blog. It won’t take long for you to figure out why that is….

Admittedly, if I see a female on Craigslist or some blog soliciting for male subs, I assume it’s more of a matter of self-interest. Primarily these are ads offering these acts in exchange for money, and other times I’m concerned for the derisive and exploitative tone of their expectations and desires of a submissive. Not that I think these are intrinsically bad things in this lifestyle, rather in this context I’m weary that there will be the affection/care that I would deem necessary to engage in these activities in a healthy manner.

Men will post similar ads as dominants, but for some reason I have this compulsion to believe that women are typically pickier about these sorts of situations, even though I know this may not be true for a number of theoretical and empirical reasons. Perhaps it is the rarity of female dominants relative to male ones on the internet (in my experiences), and it may just be the exposure I’ve had to the expressions and more emotionally detrimental desires and actions of some male subs that seem to have some issues reconciling fantasy and reality (this is not a general comment about male submissives, just something I’ve seen commonly on the web).

Hrm. I suppose I’d like some clarity from others who may have more perspective on the matter. Is that sort of exactly-what-it-seems objectification/exploitation (that seems so common in a lot of bdsm personals, particularly f seeking m) appealing beyond the fantasy? Is there a way to engage in it and be healthy about it? Have people experienced a disparity in what is appropriate or desired in solicitations for partners between communities/genders/sexes?

Tyler, I haven’t read Venus in Furs yet. You keep telling me that I should. I probably should. :)

In any case, thanks for that blog =) I’m excited to see what the writer has to say.