I’m glad you’ve commented. :) Secret identities are no fun. Not even for superheroes.

I’m probably overreacting a tad because I honestly did not believe anyone I would consider a friend could feel otherwise on this and I’m in an emotionally vulnerable frame of mind for unrelated reasons, but it hurts, and I’ve been drifting away from those I care about because I’ve seen far too much narrow-mindedness going on for a long time. Maybe they would consider me narrow-minded for not accepting their traditionalist views, also. Anyway, I apologize for venting on your blog when I do not, in fact know you except in being a fan of your site. I also post elsewhere as Viverrine, but I’m already tired of having a secret identity that can’t really stay that way anyway.

How common is someone like me??

Don’t fret; you’re not an anomaly. Guys like you are pretty common, some even argue more common than any other kind of guy, although I tend to believe things are more equally balanced than most people think.

i feel like i know more than most adults

You may have certainly done more thinking about specific kinds of sexually exciting thoughts than many adults have, but I would urge you to remain humble about what you actually think you know. The people who know the least often think they know the most. Don’t become one of those people; if you stop asking questions or stop actively trying to learn more, you’ll easily turn into one of those much older idiots I reference in this post. Remember the stages of learning:

1. Unconscious incompetence—when you don’t even know that you don’t know something. (You might remember a few years ago when you didn’t even understand why you thought some things were sexy.)
2. Conscious incompetence—when you know enough to know that you don’t actually know a whole lot about it.
3. Conscious competence—when you’re experienced enough to see what you know and how much more you have to go.
4. Unconscious competence—when you’ve gotten so much practice that things are second-nature and you realize you need to put effort into checking what you know against new standards to keep getting better instead of simply going through repetitive motions.

Please give me some ideas on how to fufill my need.

You’ve started off on the right foot by doing a lot of thinking about the matter, and you’re clearly looking for useful resources on the subject as well—both steps in the right direction. Be mindful, humble, and communicative:

• Go read a ton of other blogs (there are lots of good ones listed on my blogroll under the heading “People with interesting things to say”) and ask them questions by commenting on posts you found interesting.
• Start a blog of your own and ask questions in your posts, soliciting feedback from others.
• Talk to friends of all sexes face to face (including both fellow girls and boys).
• Read books like Bound to be Free (which I first read at 15), Different Loving, Come Hither, and other BDSM resources of similar quality. If you can’t buy copies of these books, look for them in a library.
• Look at and listen to the free audio and video resources about BDSM available online, such as KinkForAll videos. You might find the audio recordings of classes such as “The Submissive ‘No’” particularly interesting. (There are even more links to free audio/video from KinkForAll New York City available here.)
• And while you’re reading, talking, and learning about all this, remember that not everything you read, hear, or see, is good information for you even if it is good information for somebody else.

Also, always stay physically safe at all times. Know what your physical abilities and limits are, and if you’re not sure what they are, be even more careful. Like I say in the post about 8 things submissive people want from a dominant partner:

[A dominant person] need[s] to have and be constantly developing a sense of [their] own skills so that [they] know what [they] can and can’t realistically and safely do.

Hope this helps.

im not sure how my opinion matters seeing on how im a male sadist not a female masochist.

Regardless of what it is, your opinion will always remain an opinion. I’m not certain I understand why you seem to be implying that your opinion would “matter” any less or different because of who you are.

And yes, i know this comment will probably be deleted because im a minor.

A final thought: I hope that when you encounter other people, they will treat you with the same respect and willingness to share information with you as they might treat people of their own age. Sadly, this is very rarely the case when adults interact with minors: I sincerely believe that hiding sexual information (including imagery) from youth is a bigoted, adultist act. There is an important distinction between sexualizing children and providing sexual information to them.

After reading hundreds of forums and web pages on it(Not to mention jacking off on the idea at least a thousand times), i feel like i know more than most adults. I feel completly alone on this, almost like i want to base my whole life on it, but i don’t know what to do.

My last girlfriend broke up with me cause i was to into dominating her(she freaked out about it and i dont blame her)

How common is someone like me??
Please give me some ideas on how to fufill my need.
And yes, i know this comment will probably be deleted because im a minor.