Comments on: Young people into BDSM are not exceptional

By: Eva Ardenson

Eva Ardenson — Thu, 10 May 2012 04:57:19 +0000

Hey! I appreciate this article very much. It finally shows that SOMEONE can understand that minors can understand adult-centered topics. I am 16 and submissive and I have been castigated and bullied for it for a very long time. I have also been told over and over again that I am either “delusional” or “not ready” to decipher where I stand with the whole issue of Kink in general. I also think that it s very true that age does not decipher the amount of life experience that you’ve had. When I was 7, my mother caught a fatal illness and almost died. She also became paralyzed from the waist down for many years. I was put in charge of not only so much of the household but also the emotional burden that this experience would put on a seven year old. When I was 9, my entire family separated and I was not allowed to see any member of my family except for my mother. I have not seen their faces to this day. When I was 11, I became morbidly obese. I was bullied and teased until I tried to commit suicide. In that year, I tried to commit suicide seven times. I lost the weight. I lost 123lbs. I went from 238lbs to 115lbs in only one year. And with this newfound slimness, I gained friends. After that, things got better. I’ve known that I’ve been submissive since I was very young. I remember the first signs of it coming up when I was 4. I discovered what I was called and more about it when I was 11. I am proud to say that I am submissive. Since I am female, I also get harassed by many radical feminists who consider me “weak” or “brainwashed”. I don’t care if one thinks that I don’t have life experience. I know that I do. I’m not going to try to get myself into the BDSM community at this point in my life for it is not only unsafe for a 16 year old but also could get some fellow Kinksters in trouble with the law. Although, I would like to find a Dom who is my age who I could be in a long-term relationship with. I would like to find a Dom who would truly love me as well as satisfy the desires that I do have. I am so glad that you wrote this article. This article advocates for me and my desire. It advocated for every Kinky teen who wants somebody to stand up for their desires. Thank you for daring to write this beautiful article. You are amazing.

By: BDSM resources for minors « Tales of a Domme

BDSM resources for minors « Tales of a Domme — Fri, 29 Jul 2011 07:10:33 +0000

[...] Allen pointed out a really great discussion over at Fern’s blog on her post How Old? An article on Maymay blog was referenced and made the point that young people ARE interested in kink, a point with which I [...]

By: Weekend hyperkinks #2 | Spanked, Not Silenced

Weekend hyperkinks #2 | Spanked, Not Silenced — Sun, 17 Jul 2011 23:53:58 +0000

[...] the community has its uses. MayMay’s post Young people into BDSM are not exceptional was published in 2008, but the comment thread has recently been kick-started by a post from a [...]

By: Stabbity

Stabbity — Thu, 14 Jul 2011 03:09:33 +0000

@Hannah

Like Kitty said, you’re not too young to know what you’re interested in, especially not because you’re a girl. There are quite a few people at my local munch who are 18 or 19, and I’m pretty sure that a switch didn’t suddenly flip in their heads when they turned 18.

Please try not to take what your mother says to heart – she probably just doesn’t understand kink and is worried about your safety. People worry far more about women who bottom because if you don’t understand BDSM, an awesome scene where everyone has fun looks a lot like domestic violence.

In terms of information resources, I really like reading people’s blogs. They aren’t necessarily as informative as a site like scarleteen, but I find them a lot easier to relate to. It took me a long time to get into kink because I didn’t relate to the stereotypes at all, but once I started reading forums, I found out that kinky people are actually not that weird :)

By: Ferns

Ferns — Thu, 14 Jul 2011 03:00:47 +0000

@Hannah: No nuisance!

I have kicked it’s arse, so please try again.

Oh, and if you are on twitter, you can also send me a DM there (Ferns__).

Ferns

By: Hannah

Hannah — Wed, 13 Jul 2011 17:04:16 +0000

@Ferns

Thanks for helping (and the rest of you too) I really appreciate it.

I also had a question: I tried to click “email” on your blog, but it says I don’t have the something something installed correctly so it won’t let me. Any suggestions? Sorry if I’m a nuisance.

Thanks again.

By: Ferns

Ferns — Wed, 13 Jul 2011 06:38:15 +0000

I wanted to add my voice to the ones saying that you are not wrong or weird, but I do understand *exactly* how you feel. When you don't feel like you think you 'should', it is confusing and it is hard to escape the 'wrong' feeling when those around you don't seem to share it. I think many of us have been there, and in fact your comment has prompted me to write a post about what we do to help young people who are essentially kept out of all the places where there might be resources and information that will help them to find support and others 'like them'. I have a booklist on my blog if you are interested to take a look and I am more than happy to lend an ear if you want to email with someone who is old enough to be your mother (my contact email is in my blogger profile). Ferns Edited by maymay to include a link to Ferns' post so readers can follow whatever comes of that thread there, too.

By: Natalie

Natalie — Wed, 13 Jul 2011 06:04:07 +0000

Hi Hannah, I’m Natalie. I’m not sure if I’d describe myself as kinky or not, but as a 20 year old, I was sixteen not too long ago, and in my experience, it’s not at all too young to know what turns you on, what sexual things you’re into.

I don’t come across as somebody you’d expect to be possibly kinky if you met me in person, so I’m sure there are other people out there like me who may seem shy, or innocent, or such, when in reality they aren’t.

By: Anonymouse

Anonymouse — Wed, 13 Jul 2011 04:37:25 +0000

@Hannah

You sound pretty much exactly like me! Including the being there at 16 bit. I don’t have any particular “great” resources, but I’m now 21 and still kinky and having a lot of fun — being out of state at school most of the time has helped with the parents thing, although most of my BDSM community experience was over a summer when I lived at home.

If you want to find good, kinky, written porn, I suggest exploring fanfiction. Some of it doesn’t even require knowledge of the source material. Kink Bingo on Dreamwidth is a good place to start — they have a lot of good stuff, tagged by kinks. If you like an author, click on their journal to read more. Hopefully Dreamwidth/LJ aren’t caught in your filters somewhere, but you might still use incognito mode in Chrome to keep history clear.

By: Kitty Stryker

Kitty Stryker — Wed, 13 Jul 2011 04:02:01 +0000

@lovesickrobot

Hah, I used to use my SquiggleWriggleWriter and tie myself up with my blankie!

@Hannah

This was one of my favourite resources- http://www.steel-door.com/Chamber.html

Take it with a grain of salt, but it’s got a lot of interesting, though-provoking reading. I don’t agree with all of it, but it’s still good reading.