I prefer playing with men who have also played with men in some way. Says a lot about their understanding of energy and power to me.

For what are probably very obvious reasons, so do I. ;)

Hope life is good there.

I miss my kink community. :( Sydney’s scene is not it.

That’s part of it, I’m sure. But the main reasons women interacting sexually with each other is more socially acceptable that men doing it is a)women’s sexuality still doesn’t quite count. If they’re not using a dildo, it is not understood as real sex (penetration=real sex); if they’re using one it’s proof that sex has to involve penetration and that if there’s no male present you have to fake one (yes, I know exactly how stupid these notions are, and I’m not supporting them); and b) women having sex together is often perceived as an exhibitionist act, as being performed for the male viewers pleasure, not for the participants.’

Men interacting sexually has the uncomfortable feeling or ‘real sex,’ whether penetration occurs or not – it could, and that’s what matters – and men are not supposed to be exhibitionists for the pleasure of the viewer (note that many male exhibitionists of the flashing by-passers kind aim for fear and loathing, not appreciation). Giving pleasure to a viewer is an act constructed as feminine, and threatens masculinity if undertaken by a man.

And mostly I just wish people having the ‘oh, women together is so natural, but men together is bleah’ reaction would just get over themselves…

I fucking love you.

As someone who’s been on the sharp end of your arguments before, it can suck, but it’s always provoked a useful conversation. You say things that are true — you just don’t have a lot of patience for tact, kissing up, and the stupidity of others.

Thanks, Calico. Kudos to us both for still liking each other a lot after our “sharp” arguments. :)

Thanks for the unpacking on this topic — I think I am going to try to write something on it and link you.

I’ll look forward to that!

@MistressMcKenna

I thought this post was great. I just ran across your blog through your wife/Domme’s blog, through “Richard”’s : )

Thanks. :) And welcome. I’m going to assume you’re talking about Eileen’s blog when you say “wife/Domme”, which I’ll take as a compliment. For what it’s worth, we’re not married, we’re living in sin. :)

My favorite line in this post was “In other words, being the person who does the penetrating does not equate to having power, or masculinity.” I think that’s so true, but it’s all in one’s mind, isn’t it? And fantasy, if we let it, can rule us all. My boyfriend is a biologically female, gender-ambiguous, male-pronoun-preferring bisexual slave. He and I are getting a strap-on soon, which introduces a whole new dynamic into our sex. As he put it, he’s excited about it for two reasons. The first is that he feels a kind of sweet, affectionate love for the idea of using it on Me. He says the phrase “making love” comes to mind, which he NEVER uses. The second reason is Me using it on him, which WILL be harsh, a little painful, and humiliating by choice. It’s a two way street, and it’s all up to us : )

I fucking love you.

As someone who’s been on the sharp end of your arguments before, it can suck, but it’s always provoked a useful conversation. You say things that are true — you just don’t have a lot of patience for tact, kissing up, and the stupidity of others.

Thanks for the unpacking on this topic — I think I am going to try to write something on it and link you.