Comments on: Being someone’s fucktoy: Who’s objectifying who? http://maybemaimed.com/2008/10/30/being-someones-fucktoy-whos-objectifying-who/ Because 'kinky' is an adjective, not an activity Fri, 18 May 2012 00:29:39 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.2 By: DelvingintoDeviance http://maybemaimed.com/2008/10/30/being-someones-fucktoy-whos-objectifying-who/#comment-153971 DelvingintoDeviance Wed, 18 May 2011 18:52:04 +0000 http://maybemaimed.com/?p=484#comment-153971 This is an interesting one! I often call my boyfriend/submissive my fuck toy. This usually makes him feel very used, which he enjoys. So perhaps he's using me too in that way? In some ways it all comes back to who really controls a scene. The dominant is choosing what happens, but the submissive is ultimately in control of when it goes too far, and is simultaneously having their fantasies fulfilled. On a similar note, I've recently begun fantasizing about being on the receiving end of a gang bang, but as a dominant. In this way I definitely see myself as being the one using them. I love being fucked and having a stream of guys to fuck me with me choosing when each one of them was done is extremely arousing. I don't think that I would feel used in the slightest in this situation as it would be entirely focused on my pleasure. However, the common depictions of gangbangs in pornography is definitely one of a female being used by a bunch of males, but I just don't think that has to be the case. This is an interesting one! I often call my boyfriend/submissive my fuck toy. This usually makes him feel very used, which he enjoys. So perhaps he’s using me too in that way? In some ways it all comes back to who really controls a scene. The dominant is choosing what happens, but the submissive is ultimately in control of when it goes too far, and is simultaneously having their fantasies fulfilled.

On a similar note, I’ve recently begun fantasizing about being on the receiving end of a gang bang, but as a dominant. In this way I definitely see myself as being the one using them. I love being fucked and having a stream of guys to fuck me with me choosing when each one of them was done is extremely arousing. I don’t think that I would feel used in the slightest in this situation as it would be entirely focused on my pleasure. However, the common depictions of gangbangs in pornography is definitely one of a female being used by a bunch of males, but I just don’t think that has to be the case.

]]> By: MsSnS http://maybemaimed.com/2008/10/30/being-someones-fucktoy-whos-objectifying-who/#comment-6566 MsSnS Sun, 21 Dec 2008 14:05:55 +0000 http://maybemaimed.com/?p=484#comment-6566 For me, it's complete objectification of the men involved. In my fantasies, I may even be bound at the wrists but they are there simply to satisfy me and then leave. Even if it's a line of cops, when each is 'finished,' he is dismissed immediately. Sometimes it's a row of them standing and waiting to be chosen... For me, it’s complete objectification of the men involved. In my fantasies, I may even be bound at the wrists but they are there simply to satisfy me and then leave. Even if it’s a line of cops, when each is ‘finished,’ he is dismissed immediately. Sometimes it’s a row of them standing and waiting to be chosen…

]]> By: maymay http://maybemaimed.com/2008/10/30/being-someones-fucktoy-whos-objectifying-who/#comment-5851 maymay Wed, 19 Nov 2008 23:20:15 +0000 http://maybemaimed.com/?p=484#comment-5851 @<a href="#comment-5827" rel="nofollow">sera</a>: No one said you were comfortable with casual sex, don't worry. :) All I was saying is that I wonder if I'd feel more comfortable with casual sex if I were also more comfortable with mutual objectification in a scene, or vice versa. @sera: No one said you were comfortable with casual sex, don’t worry. :) All I was saying is that I wonder if I’d feel more comfortable with casual sex if I were also more comfortable with mutual objectification in a scene, or vice versa.

]]> By: sera http://maybemaimed.com/2008/10/30/being-someones-fucktoy-whos-objectifying-who/#comment-5827 sera Wed, 19 Nov 2008 03:22:11 +0000 http://maybemaimed.com/?p=484#comment-5827 Oh fuck, who said I was comfortable with casual sex!!?!?@?!!! I said it was exciting to me, as in--the idea of. It's way too advanced for me too, except in my fantasies. ;) Oh fuck, who said I was comfortable with casual sex!!?!?@?!!! I said it was exciting to me, as in–the idea of. It’s way too advanced for me too, except in my fantasies. ;)

]]> By: maymay http://maybemaimed.com/2008/10/30/being-someones-fucktoy-whos-objectifying-who/#comment-5801 maymay Tue, 18 Nov 2008 10:32:45 +0000 http://maybemaimed.com/?p=484#comment-5801 @<a href="#comment-5603" rel="nofollow">SJ</a>: I've not actually explored the possibilities of how objectification can stop one's overactive mind from thinking about everything. I should probably look into that more, actually, because the only way I've managed to make my mind shut down and sink into my body (which I find to be the only way to enjoy physicality in a sensuous, physically hedonistic manner) is through intense pain. Anyway, thanks for the thought-provoking comment. @<a href="#comment-5788" rel="nofollow">sera</a>: <em>Mutual</em> objectification feels a little too "advanced" for me, as if there were such a thing. :) I mean, I'm barely familiar with the emotions of feeling objectified, so layering that on top of objectification of someone else makes me worry. Actually, come to think of it, this may be why I'm (embarrassingly <em>still</em>) so uncomfortable with casual sex. @SJ: I’ve not actually explored the possibilities of how objectification can stop one’s overactive mind from thinking about everything. I should probably look into that more, actually, because the only way I’ve managed to make my mind shut down and sink into my body (which I find to be the only way to enjoy physicality in a sensuous, physically hedonistic manner) is through intense pain. Anyway, thanks for the thought-provoking comment.

@sera: Mutual objectification feels a little too “advanced” for me, as if there were such a thing. :) I mean, I’m barely familiar with the emotions of feeling objectified, so layering that on top of objectification of someone else makes me worry. Actually, come to think of it, this may be why I’m (embarrassingly still) so uncomfortable with casual sex.

]]> By: sera http://maybemaimed.com/2008/10/30/being-someones-fucktoy-whos-objectifying-who/#comment-5788 sera Tue, 18 Nov 2008 01:23:16 +0000 http://maybemaimed.com/?p=484#comment-5788 Oh yeah. I mean, the guy who's using a glory hole is just a dick to the person on the other side. Mutual objectification is extremely exciting to me--although I suppose the other fetish-name for that is "anonymous sex". Oh yeah. I mean, the guy who’s using a glory hole is just a dick to the person on the other side. Mutual objectification is extremely exciting to me–although I suppose the other fetish-name for that is “anonymous sex”.

]]> By: SJ http://maybemaimed.com/2008/10/30/being-someones-fucktoy-whos-objectifying-who/#comment-5604 SJ Sun, 09 Nov 2008 20:57:46 +0000 http://maybemaimed.com/?p=484#comment-5604 Because objects can't worry, can't be scared, can't overthink. And I want that. Because objects can’t worry, can’t be scared, can’t overthink. And I want that.

]]> By: SJ http://maybemaimed.com/2008/10/30/being-someones-fucktoy-whos-objectifying-who/#comment-5603 SJ Sun, 09 Nov 2008 20:51:01 +0000 http://maybemaimed.com/?p=484#comment-5603 I think there's a little of both for her, as was said. At least from how I think about objectification working for me, my goal is to stop all the worried buzzing in my head that keeps me from having fun. I think there’s a little of both for her, as was said. At least from how I think about objectification working for me, my goal is to stop all the worried buzzing in my head that keeps me from having fun.

]]> By: maymay http://maybemaimed.com/2008/10/30/being-someones-fucktoy-whos-objectifying-who/#comment-5449 maymay Sat, 01 Nov 2008 04:55:24 +0000 http://maybemaimed.com/?p=484#comment-5449 @anaïs' little sister: Yeah, I'm sure there is always a bit of each happening in these instances. <blockquote>When I am an object I don’t have to worry about enjoying myself or about my owner enjoying himself, which leaves me free to enjoy myself.</blockquote> That's a great way to put it. @anaïs’ little sister: Yeah, I’m sure there is always a bit of each happening in these instances.

When I am an object I don’t have to worry about enjoying myself or about my owner enjoying himself, which leaves me free to enjoy myself.

That’s a great way to put it.

]]> By: anaïs' little sister http://maybemaimed.com/2008/10/30/being-someones-fucktoy-whos-objectifying-who/#comment-5438 anaïs' little sister Fri, 31 Oct 2008 17:12:50 +0000 http://maybemaimed.com/?p=484#comment-5438 I think it's a little bit of each, really. I kink hard on the concept of being objectified, but ultimately I do just as much detaching from those who "use" me as they do from me. The detachment is, at least for me, the point. It becomes about sex as an act, independent of the emotions or requirements. When I am an object I don't have to <i>worry</I> about enjoying myself or about my owner enjoying himself, which leaves me <i>free</i> to enjoy myself. That probably starts to get into my baggage, which might be worth a post of its own on my blog if I can ever sit still long enough to write about it. I think it’s a little bit of each, really. I kink hard on the concept of being objectified, but ultimately I do just as much detaching from those who “use” me as they do from me. The detachment is, at least for me, the point. It becomes about sex as an act, independent of the emotions or requirements. When I am an object I don’t have to worry about enjoying myself or about my owner enjoying himself, which leaves me free to enjoy myself.

That probably starts to get into my baggage, which might be worth a post of its own on my blog if I can ever sit still long enough to write about it.

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