As a bi-sexual female (and a bit of a feminist) I find it frustrating that on places like tumblr there are TONS of “sexy” nudes of women but not a lot of men at all, needless to say men being submissive and dominated by a female.

Yes, I couldn’t agree more. This comes back to the chicken-and-egg problem, though: if the media depicting submissive masculinity just doesn’t exist in the way MaleSubmissionArt.com tries to showcase that it can, then it’s not going to appear on blog platforms like Tumblr or anywhere else for that matter. But if it doesn’t appear on such sites, then it’s not possible for uninformed and unaware people to understand that such positive depictions of men and male sexuality are even a possibility in the first place.

We have to start somewhere, though. This is why I am trying my hardest to make it easy for people to spread the word, to copy what I’m doing and do it themselves. It’s why I don’t want to own the copyright on submissive male sexuality: MaleSubmissionArt.com is a mirror on the Internet, and I explicitly don’t want it to be a source for imagery of masculine submission but rather a showcase of what exists. This, I hope, will help make it appear elsewhere—maybe even everywhere!

It is great to see someone talking about this.

Again, I hope that a submissive man’s voice is not going to be the only one talking about this. Some dominant women are speaking about it, too. Interestingly, I often feel like they have more of an audience than I do, merely because they are dominant women. Sigh….

more later!

It is incredibly refreshing to find someone who seems to be in it for the…I guess I’d say for the fun.

Certainly, there are lots of people—kinky, vanilla, religious, or otherwise—who for some reason think “fun” isn’t a valid reason to enjoy sex. I hope those people eventually change their mind about that, since I think they’d have a lot more fun if they did. ;)

I wish I’d found your blog when my husband and I were starting our journey through this. (I found your Male Submission Art blog today.) I was SO sick of seeing all the pro-Domme stereotypical crap

Glad to hear you’ve been enjoying MaleSubmissionArt.com, nakeysub’s Mistress. Even more happy to hear that you’ve found and enjoyed my blog from there and that you’re encouraged by seeing the different representations I try to give submissive men than what exists on the rest of the Internet. I’m pretty convinced that such monotonous representations are damaging in more ways than one, and that the solution to this problem is to showcase positive aspects of masculinity in sexually submissive contexts. If you’re interested to hear me talk about exactly that, I’d encourage you to keep a look out about these parts, since I’ve got an audio recording about that I’m hoping to share soon.

I wish I’d found your blog when my husband and I were starting our journey through this. (I found your Male Submission Art blog today.)

I was SO sick of seeing all the pro-Domme stereotypical crap when I was trying to explore our options and learn things when he confessed to me he wanted me to take things more formal in our marriage. I mean, we felt like we were totally marginalized because at first I could find NOTHING about subs like my husband who aren’t into humiliation or sissification or being treated like a doormat. We’re coming at it from love, not sadism.

It’s this reason we’re EXTREMELY careful with what we do. If people knew my husband was submissive to me, it would totally f*** his job. I’m not doing this because I’m a sadist, I’m doing this because I am dominant and he wants to be submissive to me.

THANK YOU for your blog! (I’m off to read the back posts.)

nakeysub’s Mistress.

Maymay, I just found your site this week, and I wanted to say THANK YOU SO MUCH. Thank you for your collection of gorgeous pictures of men, and even more THANK YOU for your attitude about sex and gender and sex play. It is incredibly refreshing to find someone who seems to be in it for the…I guess I’d say for the fun. Someone who doesn’t take themselves soooo seriously that they lose sight of how awesome sex can be.

Anyway–from a bi girl who doesn’t know if she’s into BDSM but flits around the edges, thank you so much. :)))

He was speaking about one of his foundational theories, subject-SUBJECT consciousness& it’s been doing battle with my thoughts about bdsm/fetish activities& communities since then

[…]

thoughts?

It’s plain to see Hay’s influence as well as his agenda in that description of his “subject-SUBJECT” viewpoint. I must say that, on face value, I find the hypothetical causation that he proposes is heterosexuality to be greatly flawed. I do, however, agree quite strongly with many of the points raised by the subject-object dichotomy.

Insofar as relating Hay’s views to BDSM and fetish, I think that much of the work that still needs to be done (and that I’m trying to do quite explicitly over at MaleSubmissionArt.com as well as here on my own blog), is to decouple notions of power dynamics from gender and, more to Hay’s point, refute the notions of gender inequality in relation to who takes ownership of said power dynamics.

More specifically, hegemonic cultural views of submissive men are ones in which the submissiveness is imbued by feminine traits, but I think this is flawed. Not only does it reinforce the subject-object stereotype as it relates to gender that I think Hay is speaking about, it also fails to recognize the strength of being the object. I dislike the idea that subject-subject relationships are inherently better than subject-object relationship dynamics. Then again…maybe I’m misinterpreting Hay’s words and losing some of his intent in the process.

Regardless, homogeneity is actually my enemy, since a lack of exposure to sufficient diversity is the root of ignorance, itself the root of persecution.

I was listening to a rebroadcast of Harry Hay last night(an early founder/philosopher of the radical faeries)at one of the original gatherings. He was speaking about one of his foundational theories, subject-SUBJECT consciousness& it’s been doing battle with my thoughts about bdsm/fetish activities& communities since then:

[summery from wikipedia]:

Subject-SUBJECT consciousness

Subject-SUBJECT consciousness, a concept proposed by Harry Hay believed by Hay to be queer people’s unique perspective on the world. Hay saw heterosexual society existing in a subject-object dynamic; where men, who had the culturally acceptable power, saw only themselves as subject and therefore higher than women, who were treated as objects and property. Hay extrapolated this interpersonal-sexual dynamic (male-power:female-subordinate) into a broader social context, believing that the subject-object relationship was the driving force behind most all of societies’ ills. Objectification served as a barrier, emotionally separating an individual (subject) from another individual by dehumanizing them, making them object.

When Hay looked at homosexual relationships, however, he saw a different dynamic at work. He believed that homosexual relationships were based on mutual respect and empathy for the other, a longing for a companion who was as equally valuable as the self. Hay termed this interpersonal-sexual dynamic subject-SUBJECT (which Hay capitalized for emphasis in all of his writings). He believed that this subject-SUBJECT way of viewing the world was queer people’s most valuable contribution to the greater society. By empathizing with all people, relating to each other as equal to equal, society would change drastically and social injustices would be eradicated.

thoughts?

It was probably the wording “femme identity” in the post that made me think of pigeonholing and restriction.

Ah, that makes sense to me if you read the meaning of the word as “the fact of being who or what a person is,” rather than my intended use, “a close similarity of affinity.” The English language’s words can be so duplicitous sometimes. :)

@Zephyr I meant: dehumanise themselves. Though in the context you’ve described, yes I’d also see a “dehumanising others” trait in collecting anonymous conquests.

Being dominant & not dehumanised means that I can still be together with the same person who likes to submit to me when I’m having a bad cold, or am lusting after some unattainable character in a film, or take a long time trying to figure out a solution to something. In short, dominance as one of various human attributes, not something that negates my other human attributes.

I could make up a fictional story about a woman who could get absolutely any man she wants to submit to her, but I couldn’t make her just a human – I’d need to give her supernatural abilities.