Comments on: BDSM versus Kink: Nobody but your sex partner cares how you fuck

By: Aries

Aries — Thu, 29 Dec 2011 03:07:21 +0000

Your blog is so fantastic. I really, really love reading it, and am wrapped up in it for so so long. Gosh.

That’s it. You’re fabulous. Thank you.

By: Maybe Maimed but Never Harmed › Honor thy language: “kinky” is an adjective, not an activity

Tue, 05 Oct 2010 07:30:25 +0000

[...] minorities tend to use “kink” and “BDSM” as interchangeable—that is, if they know what BDSM is. However, my experience is that those who are not already trained to think or speak in that fashion [...]

By: Maybe Maimed but Never Harmed › The Salvation Army incites personal attacks against me; a blog reply

Thu, 25 Mar 2010 19:04:50 +0000

[...] reality, I have personally loudly spoken out that the goal of KinkForAll events should never be specific to an acceptance of bondage, discipline [...]

By: Can You Separate BDSM and Sex? | Submissive Guide

Can You Separate BDSM and Sex? | Submissive Guide — Mon, 07 Dec 2009 15:02:16 +0000

[...] on BDSM and SexOur chat discussion transcript from 8/25/09 on this very topicIs BDSM Sexual?BDSM vs. Kink Leave a CommentFiled under BDSM Basics, Sex and SexualityTags: BDSM, BDSM and sex, kinky side, [...]

By: Shifting the Discourse on Female Dominance « Topologies

Shifting the Discourse on Female Dominance « Topologies — Sun, 08 Nov 2009 01:07:18 +0000

[...] This is a social justice movement. I’m not going to go out and organize an unconference. I’m sick of going to local kink events and feeling like no one there is really my sort of geek. But this is important to me, and it’s about damn time for me to start speaking up and fighting back. [...]

By: Meitar Moscovitz (maymaym) 's status on Saturday, 22-Aug-09 22:42:59 UTC - Identi.ca

Sat, 22 Aug 2009 22:43:09 +0000

[...] http://maybemaimed.com/2009/05/03/bdsm-versus-kink-nobody-but-your-sex-partner-cares-how-you-fuck/ [...]

By: maymay

maymay — Mon, 06 Jul 2009 18:02:21 +0000

Huh. I should perhaps also mention that I don’t at all see how this particular question of semantics has anything to do with the thrust of my post, above, and I feel more than a little annoyed at myself for engaging in a semantic debate in this post when the real issue is about the perception of BDSM in the wider world. A slap on the wrist for me, and I’ll try to do better next time.

By: maymay

maymay — Mon, 06 Jul 2009 17:59:36 +0000

Amber, can you elaborate on what you feel is the distinction between a “class,” a “presentation,” a “lecture”, and a “session”? You seem to have some extremely specific ideas about what each of these are, along with some strong preferences about the terminology people should use.

In my mind, my “sessions” were very much “presentations.” To be pedantic, I was preparing “a demonstration or display of a product or idea”, which is the definition of the word. I like the word presentation over session for events of this sort because while a session is technically accurate (defined by my dictionary as “a period devoted to a particular activity”), this doesn’t provide much in the way of direction for the particular activity to progress. I disliked the very few sessions I attended at Sex 2.0 that seemed to trail off into nothingness. I specifically tried to avoid that with my presentations because I had a pre-formulated idea—however vague—of exactly what I wanted to talk about. Thus, I deliberately turned my sessions into presentations, and I tend to encourage the use of that word to inspire the same sort of directed thinking and acting in others.

But really, fuck it, sessions and presentations are close enough in my view that they are mostly interchangeable. Sessions or presentations and classes or lectures, however, are not.

By: Amber Rhea

Amber Rhea — Mon, 06 Jul 2009 11:15:35 +0000

There were people at Sex 2.0 who continually referred to the sessions as “classes,” and that REALLY grated on me. That was as annoying to me as when other people continually referred to the sessions as “presentations” or “lectures.”

By: maymay

maymay — Mon, 18 May 2009 23:21:21 +0000

@-everyone: Let me apologize for being absent from the followup discussion this blog post spawned for two weeks now and for a little longer yet. I'm sorry that I haven't gotten involved in the comments here yet because I really, really want to. I get the distinct impression that very few people who have commented actually took the salient point of what I wanted to get across away from this post, which is perhaps my own failure. The only point I'm trying to make in this post is: the perception of non-sexuality advocates about sex-positive communities is incredibly poor. Of course we should be talking about sex, and we should be doing it publicly. What do you think I'm doing all the time? But it's not as straight forward as that and, frankly, the way in which most people I know who discuss the sex they have online is really harmful to their own stated goals. As I mentioned in this blog post, I'll elaborate further in the near future—hopefully in future blog posts and/or on this comment thread itself. Again, I'm sorry I've been remiss in addressing all the excellent points you've been making. Thanks again for all your commentary so far. Please keep it coming—I really enjoy reading what you have to say about this, and I think it's an important discussion to have.