The kink/BDSM community isn’t trying to end rape culture. They’re trying to eroticize it. We already have a society in which relationship role models are so thoroughly intoxicated with abuser dynamics that most people don’t even know what consenting feels like. By celebrating this state of affairs and attempting to normalize the explicit eroticization of abuse with their endless protestations that they’re “just like everyone else,” what BDSM’ers are doing is in fact worse, not better, than at least feeling conflicted about it.

—maymay, who self-identified as a Submissive in the BDSM community for almost a decade, was a subject (and is on the cover of) Dr. Newmahr’s ethnographic research book about the BDSM subculture, and who lead BDSM workshops and presentations at national BDSM conferences, and has one of the most visible blogs about the BDSM subculture on the Internet.

This perspective isn’t coming from “some outsider who doesn’t understand” what’s going on there. Check out these posts on their blog:

Kind of throws a wrench in the whole “kink shamers just don’t understand!!!111!!eleventy” argument, don’t it?

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