Comments for Maybe Maimed but Never Harmed http://maybemaimed.com Because 'kinky' is an adjective, not an activity Sat, 04 Feb 2012 07:14:44 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 Comment on Top Ten Tips for Long-Term Male Chastity Device Wear by So you got a chastity device… « Kink in exile http://maybemaimed.com/2008/09/24/top-ten-tips-for-long-term-male-chastity-device-wear/#comment-291232 So you got a chastity device… « Kink in exile Sat, 04 Feb 2012 07:14:44 +0000 http://maybemaimed.com/?p=349#comment-291232 [...] best you can.  Actually, far more strongly than that, I recommend you read maymay’s “Top 10 tips for long-term male chastity device wear.” Keyholders, read this too! No really, as someone who has put more random nonsense in her [...] [...] best you can.  Actually, far more strongly than that, I recommend you read maymay’s “Top 10 tips for long-term male chastity device wear.” Keyholders, read this too! No really, as someone who has put more random nonsense in her [...]

]]> Comment on On Being Bondage Furniture by Delilah http://maybemaimed.com/2011/12/04/on-being-bondage-furniture/#comment-290508 Delilah Thu, 02 Feb 2012 21:05:48 +0000 http://maybemaimed.com/?p=3732#comment-290508 I'm sitting home sick and reading back in your blog, as I've been thinking about you a lot ever since that party in Boston and our conversation which felt so abortive, because I was too wrapped up and exhausted to engage fully. I've always been so moved by your writing and your passionate dedication to what you want to see changed. And it feels awful to know, over and over, that your and other submissive men's experiences in the scene have been so horrible. I've started sort of seeing a submissive man recently who is in therapy in part because he thought he must be trans, because the things he wanted and the behaviors he favored were not things he saw in the larger culture as acceptable for a man. Thanks in part to you, he has changed his label on Fetlife from GQ to M, because of realizing that he is a man, and wanting to be a part of the movement that shows other possibilities for men, instead of having to come up with some new category. Your work continues to inspire. I just wish you didn't have to pay for it with so much pain. And I wish, too, that I could personally bring to you some of that touch, and play, and healing that you talk about <a href="http://maybemaimed.com/2011/03/10/its-foggy-today-how-bdsm-and-sex-can-be-emotional-self-medication-in-a-cruel-world/" rel="nofollow">in this post</a>. I've always wanted to tell you that I find you beautiful, and compelling, and that I'd happily play with you if I ever had the courage to ask, or felt that you wouldn't see it as a cheap offering. When I finally met you, I didn't even know how to begin to bridge that gap. I doubt that that helps, either, but I just wanted to tell you. Because you deserve so much better than you're getting. Love, and play, and everything good. Sorry if this comment is completely incoherent. My head is full of phlegm. But my heart is full of love. I’m sitting home sick and reading back in your blog, as I’ve been thinking about you a lot ever since that party in Boston and our conversation which felt so abortive, because I was too wrapped up and exhausted to engage fully. I’ve always been so moved by your writing and your passionate dedication to what you want to see changed. And it feels awful to know, over and over, that your and other submissive men’s experiences in the scene have been so horrible.

I’ve started sort of seeing a submissive man recently who is in therapy in part because he thought he must be trans, because the things he wanted and the behaviors he favored were not things he saw in the larger culture as acceptable for a man. Thanks in part to you, he has changed his label on Fetlife from GQ to M, because of realizing that he is a man, and wanting to be a part of the movement that shows other possibilities for men, instead of having to come up with some new category. Your work continues to inspire. I just wish you didn’t have to pay for it with so much pain.

And I wish, too, that I could personally bring to you some of that touch, and play, and healing that you talk about in this post.

I’ve always wanted to tell you that I find you beautiful, and compelling, and that I’d happily play with you if I ever had the courage to ask, or felt that you wouldn’t see it as a cheap offering. When I finally met you, I didn’t even know how to begin to bridge that gap.

I doubt that that helps, either, but I just wanted to tell you. Because you deserve so much better than you’re getting. Love, and play, and everything good.

Sorry if this comment is completely incoherent. My head is full of phlegm. But my heart is full of love.

]]> Comment on KinkForAll and the Evolution of Sexuality Communities by Toward a new expression of sexual freedom « Kink in exile http://maybemaimed.com/2009/03/23/kinkforall-and-the-evolution-of-sexuality-communities/#comment-285496 Toward a new expression of sexual freedom « Kink in exile Fri, 20 Jan 2012 18:16:18 +0000 http://maybemaimed.com/?p=763#comment-285496 [...] from a post about Kink for All, a sexuality conference that started in NY and is going to Denver in February.  [...] [...] from a post about Kink for All, a sexuality conference that started in NY and is going to Denver in February.  [...]

]]> Comment on Re-Caste-ing Alternative Sexuality: A Class Analysis of Social Status in the BDSM Scene – Arse Elektronika 2011: Screw the System by 46 (things) « Emotional Exhibitionism http://maybemaimed.com/2011/10/05/re-caste-ing-alternative-sexuality-a-class-analysis-of-social-status-in-the-bdsm-scene-arse-elektronika-2011-screw-the-system/#comment-281880 46 (things) « Emotional Exhibitionism Sat, 14 Jan 2012 23:41:17 +0000 http://maybemaimed.com/?p=3657#comment-281880 [...] being a lot more active in the scene this year, and getting to know a lot more people (gaining social capital). Eventually my number of play partners will increase and some of these needs will be satisfied, if [...] [...] being a lot more active in the scene this year, and getting to know a lot more people (gaining social capital). Eventually my number of play partners will increase and some of these needs will be satisfied, if [...]

]]> Comment on The Bus Driver and The Gadfly: What my activism looks like at BDSM parties by Linds http://maybemaimed.com/2011/06/07/the-bus-driver-and-the-gadfly-what-my-activism-looks-like-at-bdsm-parties/#comment-280921 Linds Fri, 13 Jan 2012 19:43:48 +0000 http://maybemaimed.com/?p=3276#comment-280921 And this is why I stick to the Exiles events. Slightly more catty lesbian drama, slightly less weird assumptions about power dynamics. And this is why I stick to the Exiles events. Slightly more catty lesbian drama, slightly less weird assumptions about power dynamics.

]]> Comment on An appeal for safe intellectual exploration: Touch me thoughtfully by Externalizing the Internal Monologue about the Internal Monologue « Bloggity Blog Blog Blog… http://maybemaimed.com/2011/02/20/an-appeal-for-safe-intellectual-exploration-touch-me-thoughtfully/#comment-279583 Externalizing the Internal Monologue about the Internal Monologue « Bloggity Blog Blog Blog… Thu, 12 Jan 2012 07:18:43 +0000 http://maybemaimed.com/?p=2708#comment-279583 [...] From a media theory perspective, I’m a little obsessed right now with Maymay‘s proposed method of using the Internet, including Twitter as a sort of annotated bibliography for his stream of consciousness. [...] [...] From a media theory perspective, I’m a little obsessed right now with Maymay‘s proposed method of using the Internet, including Twitter as a sort of annotated bibliography for his stream of consciousness. [...]

]]> Comment on FetLife Considered Harmful: The Risks of Sex Ghettoization – KinkForAll Providence 2 by Jamie http://maybemaimed.com/2011/03/20/fetlife-considered-harmful/#comment-278235 Jamie Tue, 10 Jan 2012 11:59:36 +0000 http://maybemaimed.com/?p=2668#comment-278235 @OP I couldn't agree more with everything you've outlined in your talk. It runs parallel to my entire experience since joining FetLife to interact on non-party days with my local community members. Everything that could possibly backfire by becoming disproportionately magnified has, and I find myself spending most of my online time on Facebook because there's very little keeping me engaged on FetLife at all. It is no coincidence that I'm sexually inactive (questioning whether I'm asexual, but certain I'm transromantic), queer, trans, and genderqueer. I know I'm among a marked minority, and I would be long-gone from this website if I weren't white, because there wouldn't even be a single thing keeping me there if I wasn't. The entire website is fucking ridiculous, and if I wasn't confident that dismantling white-washing, white-splaining, and white-is-right-ing was something I, as a white person, am strong and confident enough to do--and am capable of doing, while recognizing how important it is--I would've removed my account by now because of all the exclusionary bullying by fellow (white) "community" members. @OP

I couldn’t agree more with everything you’ve outlined in your talk. It runs parallel to my entire experience since joining FetLife to interact on non-party days with my local community members.

Everything that could possibly backfire by becoming disproportionately magnified has, and I find myself spending most of my online time on Facebook because there’s very little keeping me engaged on FetLife at all.

It is no coincidence that I’m sexually inactive (questioning whether I’m asexual, but certain I’m transromantic), queer, trans, and genderqueer. I know I’m among a marked minority, and I would be long-gone from this website if I weren’t white, because there wouldn’t even be a single thing keeping me there if I wasn’t.

The entire website is fucking ridiculous, and if I wasn’t confident that dismantling white-washing, white-splaining, and white-is-right-ing was something I, as a white person, am strong and confident enough to do–and am capable of doing, while recognizing how important it is–I would’ve removed my account by now because of all the exclusionary bullying by fellow (white) “community” members.

]]> Comment on Top Ten Tips for Long-Term Male Chastity Device Wear by Cblocked http://maybemaimed.com/2008/09/24/top-ten-tips-for-long-term-male-chastity-device-wear/#comment-277809 Cblocked Mon, 09 Jan 2012 20:18:48 +0000 http://maybemaimed.com/?p=349#comment-277809 I have tried the changing the lock out but it still would catch the skin that pokes threw the vent holes. So I thought what if there was something for the lock to hit before the pinch. I took one of my wife's hair ties wrapped it around the cage and it stopped most I the pinching. Also I have orders and waitin on a plastic reusable lock from lockedlove.come that some may be interested in. I have tried the changing the lock out but it still would catch the skin that pokes threw the vent holes. So I thought what if there was something for the lock to hit before the pinch. I took one of my wife’s hair ties wrapped it around the cage and it stopped most I the pinching. Also I have orders and waitin on a plastic reusable lock from lockedlove.come that some may be interested in.

]]> Comment on Anti-censorship best practices for the sex-positive publisher – Atlanta Poly Weekend 2011 by P.S.A | lost in your head http://maybemaimed.com/2011/03/29/anti-censorship-best-practices-for-the-sex-positive-publisher-atlanta-poly-weekend-2011/#comment-276418 P.S.A | lost in your head Sat, 07 Jan 2012 05:04:26 +0000 http://maybemaimed.com/?p=2963#comment-276418 [...] this way is not just the Internet equivalent of “imitation is the sincerest form of flattery,” your cross-post also functions as a distributed backup copy and even a censorship circumvention node for [...] [...] this way is not just the Internet equivalent of “imitation is the sincerest form of flattery,” your cross-post also functions as a distributed backup copy and even a censorship circumvention node for [...]

]]> Comment on Orgasm Denial Does Not Submissive Men Make by The fetish of Tease & Denial | Goddess Alexandra Snow http://maybemaimed.com/2010/03/06/orgasm-denial-does-not-submissive-men-make/#comment-276398 The fetish of Tease & Denial | Goddess Alexandra Snow Sat, 07 Jan 2012 03:58:45 +0000 http://maybemaimed.com/?p=1351#comment-276398 [...] Orgasm Denial Does Not Submissive Men Make [...] [...] Orgasm Denial Does Not Submissive Men Make [...]

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