“[W]hile the truncheon may be used in lieu of conversation, words will always retain their power. Words offer the means to meaning, and for those who will listen, the enunciation of truth. And the truth is, there is something terribly wrong with this country, isn’t there? Cruelty and injustice, intolerance and oppression. And where once [...]
Archive for the ‘BDSM psychology’ Category
Signal boost: “The Devaluation of Male Submission”
02 Jun 2011 at 15:49
maymay
BDSM psychology, Bitter and jealous, Community, Femdom, Male sexuality, Politics of sex
Reading sexual writing viscerally pains me these days. For a supposed “sex blogger,” this is a huge problem. In order to write well, I need to read a lot, and when I can’t read others’ sex blogs I’m sharply hamstrung. And why do I have this much trouble? Because the concept of eroticization itself has [...]
“Good boy,” and other kinds of complicated sex
31 Mar 2011 at 12:54
maymay
BDSM psychology, BDSM terminology, Beginner BDSM, D/s dynamics, Politics of sex, Sexism
Imagine my pleasant surprise when my Internet radar picked up a great post by a thoughtful new feminist BDSM blogger. FeministSub has a thing or two (or three) to say about the phrase “good girl” worth pointing out: “Good girl.” I don’t think there’s anything that captures my mixed feelings about submission like that phrase. [...]
It’s foggy today: how BDSM and sex can be emotional self-medication in a cruel world
It was foggy in my (new) hometown of San Francisco today. I like fog. If I were weather I would be, I think, a dense fog. A friendly acquaintance of mine is fond of asking, “How’s your weather?” She does this instead of using the more common, “How are you?” I like her rephrasing because the [...]
Why self-harm has nothing to do with BDSM
Of the many questions that often come up when discussing BDSM are questions concerning the distinction between consensual sadomasochism and self-harm, or self-mutilation. This is not surprising because, from the perspective of an onlooker and especially when taken out of context, many masochistic behaviors like knife play look similar to arguably unhealthy behaviors such as [...]
Breaking Pornography’s Fourth Wall: Erotic satisfaction as a function of gaze
I was wrong when I wrote that Lady Porn Day was “neither inspiring nor impressive.” It did inspire something. Specifically, aside from my own post on the subject, it inspired this comment from Kay: if we can accept that the porn that naturally appeals to submissive men is images of men being submissive, couldn’t the [...]
