Imagine my pleasant surprise when my Internet radar picked up a great post by a thoughtful new feminist BDSM blogger. FeministSub has a thing or two (or three) to say about the phrase “good girl” worth pointing out: “Good girl.” I don’t think there’s anything that captures my mixed feelings about submission like that phrase. [...]
Archive for the ‘Beginner BDSM’ Category
“Good boy,” and other kinds of complicated sex
31 Mar 2011 at 12:54
maymay
BDSM psychology, BDSM terminology, Beginner BDSM, D/s dynamics, Politics of sex, Sexism
Why self-harm has nothing to do with BDSM
Of the many questions that often come up when discussing BDSM are questions concerning the distinction between consensual sadomasochism and self-harm, or self-mutilation. This is not surprising because, from the perspective of an onlooker and especially when taken out of context, many masochistic behaviors like knife play look similar to arguably unhealthy behaviors such as [...]
On Talking to Children and Adolescents about BDSM and Sex
In the past few months, I’ve seen a sharp increase in personal correspondence from people who are asking me (often via email) for clarifications, expansions, or simply personal advice. I’m flattered that people are beginning to look to me for serious advice on what are often painful or difficult questions. At the same time, I’m [...]
Don’t you fret, sexism is alive and well in BDSM
02 Oct 2009 at 18:17
maymay
Beginner BDSM, Myths and misconceptions, Politics of sex, Sexism, Stupid dominants
One of the most frustratingly ignorant arguments for why BDSM is a Bad Thing comes from self-proclaimed feminists who view women who enjoy a submissive sexuality as traitors. My understanding is that such feminists believe that an imbalance of sexual power, most of which they see as being in the hands of men (while annoyingly [...]
I, too, kink on BDSM stereotypes
17 Jul 2009 at 04:51
maymay
BDSM psychology, Beginner BDSM, Emotions, Femdom, Male sexuality, Personal history
As sometimes happens, the Internet sends me alerts of things I’ve told it I might find interesting. Tonight, Delilah Wood’s post, Questioning Desires: A place for sissies and worms? splashed onto my radar. Reading the post, I found it heartening to find that there are people, like Delilah, who have been reading me and, even [...]
8 Things Submissive Men Want From A Dominant Partner
27 Feb 2009 at 16:09
maymay
BDSM psychology, Beginner BDSM, Communication, Male sexuality, Myths and misconceptions, Relationship, Vanilla life
My friend over at Kink In Exile, has recently posted a fantastic list of 8 things dominant women want. The list is so spot-on that I think it is a must-read regardless of whether you are in or are looking for a kinky relationship or not—or even if you’re not even “into all this kink [...]
