Archive for the ‘D/s dynamics’ Category

Never, ever assume you need permission from a dominant person to speak to a submissive person

This one’s easy and yet the difficulty with which most people who participate in the BDSM Scene get this wrong speaks volumes about their ignorance and complicity in oppression culture. So easy, this whole post could’ve just been the title: Never, ever assume you need permission from a dominant person to speak to a submissive [...]

“Good boy,” and other kinds of complicated sex

Imagine my pleasant surprise when my Internet radar picked up a great post by a thoughtful new feminist BDSM blogger. FeministSub has a thing or two (or three) to say about the phrase “good girl” worth pointing out: “Good girl.” I don’t think there’s anything that captures my mixed feelings about submission like that phrase. [...]

How to maintain a not-fucked-up D/s relationship

Knowing that something I’ve done has made it easier for other people to live the sexually fulfilling lives they want is sometimes the only thing keeping me alive these days. So I was more than a little chuffed to read that Thumper drew from a post I wrote in 2007 called “How not to fuck [...]

What will it take for the silent majority to speak up?

I am uniquely privileged: because of my relative self-sufficiency, I am loudly, unabashedly out of the closet. This gives me a certain power; I make no bones about wielding it. Unfortunately, not everyone enjoys the ability to be wholly and publicly authentic about who they are because standing up for what you believe in can [...]

On Dichotomies that (No Longer) Jail Me – KinkForAll Providence

Being someone’s fucktoy: Who’s objectifying who?

Being home alone is sometimes really great and sometimes really dangerous. It’s great because I am often at my most productive when I have a silent, empty apartment and I’m alone with my thoughts. I guess this is where my muse is. It’s dangerous because I never know what my muse is going to inspire [...]

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