db over on Tantalism.org writes:

I’ve blogged before about that type of touch, the type of attitude, that I have found best for teasing: one that is soothing yet arousing, makes you beg for relief yet makes you comfortable with not having it. And I’ve noticed that it is always accompanied by a particular pattern of breathing, by the dom, as he or she is administering the torture. Lots of inhaling. Breathing patterns that are loong, almost sucking-sounding inhalations, followed by short exhalations.


I’ve been collecting videos of women teasing men, and I’ve noticed that the best ones are making sucking inhalation breaths, and so loudly as to be very obvious about it! Of course I doubt if it’s so obvious to them.

That’s an interesting observation! Usually, it’s the sub’s breathing patterns that are being watched closely. Surely, there is a lot of information that can be harvested from watching a subbie breath. I know when I’m in different states of arousal or emotion, my breathing changes.

I’ve never thought about looking at it from the other side of the coin. However, now that I am thinking about, it does seem to me that a “breathy” tone is often considered one that is sexy. Indeed, a sharp intake of breath after a moan often punctuates the intensity of the moan. There’s a lot to be said for watching one’s breathing.

If I’m really close to cumming, though, I often don’t breathe, and in fact hold my breath nearly involuntarily. It takes a lot of effort to try and breathe normally in such situations. Once, as I was being stroked teasingly, she told me to remain still and keep taking deep breathes. This felt wonderful, and was exceptionally arousing. However, in very much the same that some people tell you to smile (even if you’re faking) in order to be happy, this had the effect of keeping me distant from an orgasm for a surprisingly long time.

On the other hand, breathing deeply often makes an orgasm feel better, more full-bodied. I remember reading that this is traditional sex advice often given to women who feel anorgasmic. This is interesting to play with as well. What if a domme forced a breathing pattern coupled with orgasm or with the teasing? This is a logical leap for me since breath play is arousing on its own.

But all of that comes back the sub. What about the dom? Is the top’s breathing affecting the bottom in some subtle way? I have no idea, but the question certainly bears exploring!