Laura Goodwin (whom I know very little about) wrote an interesting post on how to train a man to be a sex slave (via Femdom Blogs). While there are a few things in this post I don’t feel is right for me, here are a few things I do strongly agree with this:

The ultimate object of sex training is to get your slave to the point where they can successfully do you, so you can just relax and enjoy yourself.


If you know you like penetration then teach him or her how you like that done, and don’t let up on them until they get it right. Then praise and reward.


It’s very frustrating for a sex slave to remain untrained. If you are going to be using the person at all, then devote yourself to teaching them right. One of the most rewarding things for a slave is for them to know for certain that they have satisfied you. If your sex slave cares for you, he or she will want to please and satisfy you even without the threat of punishment. You can help him or her to really feel like a slave and love being yours simply by making sure they know all the good techniques for getting you off.

An able slave is a proud and happy slave. It’s good for your slave’s self-esteem for them to know that they are *capable*.

It took me a relatively long time to figure out that my interest in ensuring my partner’s happiness wasn’t necessarily such an altruistic goal, but rather that it came out of my slavish desire to be owned and controlled. I craved pleasuring my partner because it made me feel accomplished. That feeling of success is far more pleasuring to me than anything else I can imagine, so a lot of what I cited above strikes deep chords in my psyche.

I still don’t know how much of it comes from the desire to be a slave and how much of it comes from other things. I suspect it’s sort of a chicken-and-egg scenario, however, because both facets of the emotion feed upon the other and strengthen the whole. It is, perhaps, more comforting to think of myself as more than the sum of my emotions anyway.