Oh my god, I could rant about this forever (via Femdom Blogs), but I won’t because I’d quickly become incoherent considering the current time. That said, I will say that this is precisely the difference money makes, and it’s one reason why I believe I’ve consistently found so many professional dominants to be longing for submissive interactions in their private lives.

When thinking about professional dominas, so many people often focus on the second word. The real heart of the title, however, is the first one, professsional. To be successful and worth half your salt, you need the same kind of dedication to the craft as a surgeon might have to his. Yes, it’s fucking hard work, because professionals are hired to perform a very specific task, and the harder that task is to perform the more valuable their talents are.

When a client pays you to do something, you’re expected to do it. That, right there, changes the equation. When Eileen and I play, there is no expectation from me but rather acceptance. Yes, there is some give and take, and the truth of the matter is that there is far more one-sidedness in the prodomme’s circumstance than in mine. All I can see the prodomme getting, besides an experience (which you can argue the real value of ’til the cows come home), is a paycheck.

And damnit, your job should never just be a paycheck, ‘lest you be miserable for your entire career. It’s the overestimating of the value of the “prodomme experience” that is the single most common reason I’ve seen prodommes quit that line of work, and I can think of at least four I know (or have known) personally right off the top of my head. ‘Nuff said tonight.

Update: Just wanted to make a few ammendments to this post now that I’m more rested. These were actually comments on Bitchy Jones’s take on the Pandora’s Box article that I left on her blog, but I like how I said it and wanted to add them here.

This is one of those things that I have too many thoughts about and as a result can’t write anything coherent because every time I look at the situation my mind kind of explodes inside my skull and I feel like it’s oozing out of my ears. So, so frustrating.

However, let me try to get a few points across:

  1. Prodommes, for the most part, are about looks and not about skill. I am always utterly depressed when I see how awful their form and aim is, how ignorant they are of safety techniques, and how generally uneducated they are about BDSM 101-type things. So it makes sense that it’s their looks, not their skills, that are economically viable and that they are the ones supplying the demand. And who demands it? Why, lonely, usually socially awkward or emotionally unintelligent submissive men who can’t or don’t know how to get what they want except with the one currency they can actually bargain with: currency.
  2. Prodommes are supposed to be first and foremost professionals. There’s not a single prodomme I’ve spoken with (and I’ve spoken with quite a few, mind you) that doesn’t try to draw a very distinct separation between their work and personal lives. That right there makes their professional interests a lot less interesting to me as a submissive male, because why would I want to be with someone who is proactively separating me out of their personal lives? Again, it comes down to the fact that there are just too many pathetic men out there. Makes me ashamed to call myself male sometimes, really.
  3. Ultimately, the situation is the way it is because it’s “correct enough” in that it works. The only way to change the system is to beat it economically. And believe you me, this is something I’ve been trying to come up with a way to do for a long time. Create something truly better that proves itself as such by completely destroying profit expectations of these abysmal esetablishments, and you’ll change the system and remake it in your own image.

End mini-rant. I guess I’m tougher on the customers than the suppliers because I’m a sub male and I get a lot more upset about seeing the worst of my breed displayed than I do about seeing the worst of someone else’s breed. I’ve gone to dozens upon dozens of fetish parties and whatnot, and at each one, the prodommes there didn’t know what to make of me or how to react to me or even what the hell I was about because the first thing out of my mouth was never “may I rub your feet?” Blech! I’m pissed off that most dominant women expect that to be the first thing out of my mouth.