I wrote a little computer program the other month to count how long it’s been since my last orgasm, and to keep track of the details of that orgasm. Tonight my program is telling me that it’s been 14.113634259259 days, or 338.72722222222 hours since my last orgasm. (It also shows me the number in weeks, minutes, and seconds, but I’m figuring that’s kind of superfluous information.) This is kind of remarkable to me because it simulatenously feels like it’s been a lot longer and not long at all.

My previous orgasm, that is, the one before the one 14 days ago, was had on the 22nd of March. It was 34 days between the orgasm in March and the one fourteen days ago, which is my new record. (Yes, in part I am writing this because I feel like bragging a little bit, even though that’s nothing compared to what some of you people do, I know.)

For a little while now, Eileen’s been saying she’s saving me for her. I like this. I’m a big fan of twisting traditional concepts around for the sake of perversions and this is a great example of that. “I’m saving you for me,” she would say. The implication is incredibly hot: I’m her’s to save for as long as she wants, unreleased until she chooses to have me otherwise. The twist is on the notion of abstinence: it is, in my opinion, utterly stupid to be teaching children that abstinence is the best form of safer sex, so it is fun to hear her take this concept and turn it on its head—sort of.

When she asked over dinner if I had anything planned this weekend, my first thought was that I certainly wouldn’t plan stuff now that she’s asked. ;)