I wrote a little computer program the other month to count how long it’s been since my last orgasm, and to keep track of the details of that orgasm. Tonight my program is telling me that it’s been 14.113634259259 days, or 338.72722222222 hours since my last orgasm. (It also shows me the number in weeks, minutes, and seconds, but I’m figuring that’s kind of superfluous information.) This is kind of remarkable to me because it simulatenously feels like it’s been a lot longer and not long at all.
My previous orgasm, that is, the one before the one 14 days ago, was had on the 22nd of March. It was 34 days between the orgasm in March and the one fourteen days ago, which is my new record. (Yes, in part I am writing this because I feel like bragging a little bit, even though that’s nothing compared to what some of you people do, I know.)
For a little while now, Eileen’s been saying she’s saving me for her. I like this. I’m a big fan of twisting traditional concepts around for the sake of perversions and this is a great example of that. “I’m saving you for me,” she would say. The implication is incredibly hot: I’m her’s to save for as long as she wants, unreleased until she chooses to have me otherwise. The twist is on the notion of abstinence: it is, in my opinion, utterly stupid to be teaching children that abstinence is the best form of safer sex, so it is fun to hear her take this concept and turn it on its head—sort of.
When she asked over dinner if I had anything planned this weekend, my first thought was that I certainly wouldn’t plan stuff now that she’s asked. ;)
by Tom Allen
11 May 2007 at 10:36
I have a little date/time thingie for my Palm that can – when I remember to do so – tells me how many days/weeks/months, or whatever it’s been.
I don’t bother anymore, since at this point I’m no longer looking to top any records. But sometimes I go back and look at the old ones ;-)
by maymay
12 May 2007 at 14:20
:) The twenty-something, urban BDSMer in me thinks that records are cool, but the deeper part of me is just excited by what the first part of me makes them out to be.
by devastatingyet
12 Aug 2007 at 06:10
I would love to know more about what this orgasm denial does to you. Is it painful? Does it feel cruel? Does it frustrate you somewhat continually or more intermittently? Is it pleasurable?
Also, if you feel like answering: do you masturbate even though you can’t come? (Are you allowed to masturbate as long as you don’t?)
I know I’m being nosy but obviously you can just not answer.
by maymay
13 Aug 2007 at 10:02
Devastating,
If I minded nosy or felt uncomfortable answering personal questions I wouldn’t have a public (rather non-anonymous) sex blog, now would I?
I should really answer your questions in a new post, but in brief:
No, orgasm denial is not painful. I have had the “blue balls” sensation many, many times, but that is not particularly unpleasant for me. It’s also typically utterly harmless, regardless of its duration. (Though YMMV, of course.)
Does orgasm denial feel cruel? Well, no, not in itself, not to me anyway—but I like this, remember? It certainly can be experienced that way, though, and I imagine would be thought of as much crueler if it were the top, not the bottom, who was more interested in this fetish. I have more than a passing interest in enforced orgasm denial mostly as a way to capture this very emotion, but that has as-yet remained largely in the fantasy realm.
Frustrating needs a definition: am I sexually frustrated? Almost always, of course. Am I somewhat irritated that I’m not permitted an orgasm? Sometimes yes, but rarely—and I’m usually turned on by that fact later anyway.
Is it pleasurable? Every. Single. Time.
Sometimes I am permitted to masturbate and sometimes I’m not. I usually treat Eileen‘s commands as a “default” until she says something else or has specified a time or event when things can change. Being a literal sort of person does seem to help with this kind of communication.
Hope that helps answer a few things, at least for now.
by devastatingyet
13 Aug 2007 at 13:01
Yes, that was great, thank you. I have an abiding obsession with this topic.
by maymay
13 Aug 2007 at 14:05
Devastating,
“Yes, that was great, thank you. I have an abiding obsession with this topic.“
You’re most welcome. The psuedo-sadist in me is always eager to help people like you keep boys trapped in this beautiful sexual desperation for as long as possible. I’m sure I’ll not envy Joscelin except for all the times when I totally will. ;)
by devastatingyet
13 Aug 2007 at 15:07
In the very beginning of doing orgasm denial with Jos, I used to get comments like, “You’d have to make me go way longer than this before I would beg,” and other hints that he hoped I would make him wait a long time. Oddly, after a while I stopped getting those hints and mostly just got a lot of begging. And that was after just a few days.
by maymay
13 Aug 2007 at 15:52
Devastating,
“I … mostly just got a lot of begging. And that was after just a few days.“
It’s fundamentally easier to make someone beg for something they want to happen than to make them beg for something they don’t want to happen to stop. The first kinky thing that ever made me beg for anything at all was in a sexual teasing and control context and it briefly flummoxed me.
The other point to make is that orgasm denial does not necessarily linearly increase in intensity with the passage of time, but can be exponentially intensified with myriad simple sexual acts. In fact, there’s very little about orgasm denial that is linear at all—finding out how to refine your control of that intensity is what it’s all about. The methodology for doing that will be slightly different for each person whose sexual pleasure and/or release you control.