I work in a technology company and so, not surprisingly, in an office. Offices of technology companies are notoriously filled with geeky men and, at first glance, you might think this makes me very happy. (I’m a geek; I like geeks; therefore I like spending time with other geeks.)
However, on closer inspection, as we’ll see in just a moment, the average geek is still an average man, and the average man is still petrified of being emasculated by anal sex, and I get somewhat amusingly peeved by listening to the conversations average men have with other average men most of the time.
Observe the following (paraphrased) discussion that happened not five minutes ago, that stemmed from discussing television in popular culture.
Coworker #1: I’m sure that’s exactly what happened, ‘Uh oh, our ratings are down. We need some girl-on-girl action.’ I mean, heterosexual sex just doesn’t sell anymore.
Coworker #2: Yeah, like the L-word, TV’s all over homosexual shows. I mean, that’s the way to draw an audience.
Me: An audience of straight men, you mean. What about male-male sex?
Coworker #1: Well, uh, that’s far too uncomfortable…. It wouldn’t work.
Coworker #2: Yeah, it’s just—all the…penetration….
Me: How is there a lack of penetration in lesbian sex, exactly?
Coworker #2: Well, that’s like, you know, benign penetration.
Me: And gay sex is like, what, malignant penetration?
There was some laughter and some congratulatory remarks made in my direction about coining the best phrase ever, “malignant penetration.” I didn’t mention the incredible popularity of Queer as Folk during the conversation. Maybe I should have.
by Eileen
29 Oct 2007 at 17:54
Ha!
I add my congratulations to theirs.
Also, we should watch Queer as Folk together.
by Wendy
29 Oct 2007 at 19:14
There really ought to be more gay sex on tv. You know, the chance that there might be gay sex was the only thing that got me to watch Six Feet Under – – and I was a funeral director.
by irenekaoru
29 Oct 2007 at 19:53
Wow are most people ignorant. I hate being reminded. You know why most straight men don’t have a problem with lesbian sex? Because 1) they don’t think it’s actually SEX since there is no penis involved, and 2) they can’t conceive of it existing as anything other than a ritual performance for THEIR arousal.
I’m going to go build a fort out of my Andrea Dworkin books now…
by Tom Allen
29 Oct 2007 at 23:04
I didn’t mention the incredible popularity of Queer as Folk during the conversation.
Or hell, “Queer Eye”?
by Wendy
30 Oct 2007 at 01:12
@irenekaoru – I hear you. I was talking to a high school friend, and we were rather intoxicated and boasting of our sexual prowess, and when ‘numbers’ came up, he tried to tell me I couldn’t count women, because girlsex wasn’t real sex! Just because a penis isn’t involved doesn’t mean it isn’t sex! (and yes, I’m saying that, even if I *am* the girl that waves my dick around way too much)
As for the ritual performance for their entertainment…gr. Listen, I like to see boys kiss and such, but when I see two boys out in public sharing a moment, I can manage not to salivate and hump their legs. I’d like the same courtesy when I’m kissing a girldate goodnight somewhere.
by Dov
30 Oct 2007 at 13:09
Oh lord “Malignant penetration” that just rocks!
I think that conversation dramatizes not just the fear but also the sheer lack of any real awareness of the subject that the vanilla world has.
I get very humoured when people in the know get all worked up about TV shows and news in which what “we know to be right” gets done “so wrong” as if these people should just know by osmosis what’s really up.
by maymay
30 Oct 2007 at 14:00
P.S. For more laughs, I just discovered Overheard in the Office. (Some of them are even kinky. Like you gotta wonder wat this office girl was thinking about. But even better than that is this one.) Enjoy.