Over the past few months, I’ve been regularly updating a site called MaleSubmissionArt.com. It’s a photo blog in which I curate erotic imagery from around the Internet for a singularly directed purpose: to challenge the prevailing stereotypes of what submissive men look like, want, and feel—stereotypes that I believe actively undermine the erotic fulfillment of submissive men and anyone who likes them.
Since I began posting, Male Submission Art has gotten an unexpectedly high response from across the Internet. When I started, running Internet searches for such imagery was a frustrating prospect at best. Now, the URL itself has thousands of mentions on other web sites, as I’ve traveled across the United States I’ve been recognized by name if not by face for that site by people I don’t know, and I’ve gotten numerous private emails from people who have written to me personally expressing gratitude for the existence of the site. (That, by the way, is fucking awesome! Thank you all for your emails, even and perhaps especially those of you who simply write to say thanks.)
Many of those emails begin with an idle wondering: why can’t I write comments on the posts at MaleSubmissionArt.com itself? There are a number of reasons for this, but one reason stands above all others: because MaleSubmissionArt.com’s goal is to obsolete itselfmake itself obsolete (thanks, Orlando). Now, let me explain.
I started the site because the Internet didn’t contain enough collected imagery, writing, and thought about the intersection of masculine gender roles and power exchange, specifically with regard to submissive men. Unable to easily create my own visual media surrounding that topic, I chose instead to scour the Internet’s existing pornographic content (for literally hours a day, by the way) trying to find appropriate images for the site (and if you’re moved to do so, help is appreciated). By bringing in content from elsewhere and shining a spotlight onto it, I hoped to inspire thought and discussion about the topics at hand.
But still, why no comments? With Male Submission Art, I don’t want to provide a place for such discussion, since such places already exist in the form of the noisy blogosphere, the “twitter”-verse, and real-world discussion engines like KinkForAll. I don’t want people to comment on MaleSubmissionArt.com because then that site becomes a bottleneck—a central, single source of content created by only one group of people: people who read this one site.
This seems ridiculous to me. In cyberspace, where copying is cheap, I want people to see the images, take the images and the text, and redistribute them elsewhere. I want to make a virus so contagious and so invasive to the rottenness of “femdom” monotony that the ideas and concepts I bring up on MaleSubmissionArt.com posts spread to the furthest reaches of sexuality discourse. When you start a wildfire, you want the wind to carry the fire into fuel; I want MaleSubmissionArt.com to be the kindling, not the fire. I want a wildfire so wide that it surrounds stereotypical porn producers such that they can’t help but feel the heat.
To do this, I need to spread content, not centralize it. If I make a place for people to create content on MaleSubmissionArt.com, I am mistakenly containing the wildfire. This is why I’m constantly encouraging people to copy what I write, why I’m thrilled every time I see someone quoting the site, or when I see an image that first made it onto the Internet thanks to a reader suggestion. Together, we’re raising the signal.
So again, what can you do instead of comment? Here are some suggestions:
- If you have a blog—any kind of blog or web site—literally copy-and-paste the content from MaleSubmissionArt.com and paste it on your site: you are not stealing from MaleSubmissionArt.com. Then, in the same post, write your own thoughts about the image and/or the accompanying text and then be sure to include a link to the original post. By adding the link, your blog post will end up on my Internet radar and I’ll see it within a few days or a week. I prefer to comment on your posts than have you comment on mine.
- If for some reason you can’t copy the content or add links, perhaps for legal restrictions such as Adrian Lang encountered in his (German) blog post (English translation), then merely the mention of the phrase “MaleSubmissionArt.com” without a link will also make it onto my Internet radar eventually. Moreover, it’s less important that you talk to me about your ideas of masculine submission and more important that you talk to others who have not yet been exposed to the notions you’re developing. If you really need my input, ping me via another channel; I’m eminently findable online.
- Failing any of these options, email me at [email protected]. This is a relatively opaque communications channel, so naturally its lack of easy transparency bugs me. That said, even if I don’t reply to them all, I do still read every single email I get.
by Orlando C
02 Jun 2009 at 16:36
MayMay! You’re back! Thank god.
MSA is awesome. Thank you. I started blogging recently because of the same dearth of realistic male submission in the written word, which is something else you have blazed a trail for. So thank you again.
But still and all, “obsolete” just is not a verb. Please no. How can we live a world so cruel that the nouns become verbs all of the sudden, without any warning?
by maymay
02 Jun 2009 at 18:26
Well, sure; I don’t intend to go anywhere else. ;)
Thank you for saying so! :)
Turns out English isn’t my strongest suit after all. Thanks for catching that—the text has been corrected. :)
by Fantasia
08 Jun 2009 at 22:33
Thank you for this. I wrote a story on my blog (Playing with fire) where the man – at one point is submissive. I got more hate mail from that then I expected. WHY? it bothers people. I also spent a lot of time looking for art – and in frustration ended up asking my friend to take a picture (he found a willing model).
For me Erotica is in the flip between power …
by maymay
09 Jun 2009 at 15:53
Fantasia, I’m glad you’re finding MaleSubmissionArt.com helpful. Thankfully, I’ve yet to receive massive amounts of hate mail. Instead, I often get not-quite-aggressive but very disapproving comments. As an aside, if you write erotica, you may be interested in reading this rant on the subject by AvatarKoo.
by Jeanne
09 Jun 2009 at 22:45
Not only do I adore malesubmissionart.com, I linked to both it and this site on my own, just published blog at deliberateindulgence.blogspot.
I’ll certainly remove either link if you’d rather, just let me know, I just hoped you wouldn’t mind. :)
by maymay
12 Jun 2009 at 15:04
Of course I don’t mind that you’ve linked to my sites, Jeanne. This is the Internet; linking is the whole point. :)
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by Fantasia
17 Aug 2009 at 22:27
Thanks for the link MayMay went to look … wow soap box!
by maymay
18 Aug 2009 at 17:41
Yeah, MaleSubmissionArt.com is a soap box, Fantasia. So is this blog really. The question I hope readers ask themselves is why I feel like I need a soap box at all.
by NewRyder
19 Aug 2009 at 13:01
Hi MayMay
I’m not sure if this thread is going way off topic, but thank you. Thanks both for your delving into the complexities of submissive men and for MaleSubmissive Art. Please take a look at my thoughts on x-fucking; http://gender-bender.tumblr.com/post/134167858/x-fucking .
Thanks MayMay -ryder
by maymay
19 Aug 2009 at 13:25
NewRyder, I might write a more thorough post on this one day, but in brief, I don’t like the term “cross fucking” for the same reason I don’t like “cross dressing.” I’m a male-bodied man and I wear skirts relatively frequently, and when I do so I am not cross dressing. Similarly, I am not getting “cross” fucked when I am getting fucked in the ass; there is no line-crossing in my mind about it at all.
by NewRyder
19 Aug 2009 at 13:39
MayMay,
Interesting. Thanks. I don’t come from a place (with in) where the word ‘cross’ has any baggage but I can see where it might for others.
So setting aside words that have baggage or prior sexual association; can you see what I’m getting at?
So much of the ‘pegging’ media and discussion revolves around; “fucking up the ass” or basic prostate stimulation or femdom or whatever. Fine for some but not the definition I’m looking for.
thanks MayMay, interested in your thoughts.
-ryder
by sera
21 Oct 2009 at 16:45
Well, I find that explanation unsatisfactory for two reasons:
1) As you point out, YOU comment on the pictures. Whatever your intent, it has the effect of privileging your interpretation of those works.
2) Commenting is a standard way of communicating on the internet; what’s more, it’s convenient. Of course people can go post elsewhere, reproduce the quote, and post their thoughts. But that creates a significant barrier to a thoughtful exchange of ideas. And while it may mean that you disperse the conversation, it also may make it much harder for the conversation to get started.
Imagine you have a speaker at a conference. At the end of the conference, the speaker says, “I COULD have a Q&A period, but I don’t want to confine the discussion of these ideas to those present, because I want others to think about these ideas too. So if you have questions, go home, summarize my talk for your friends, and THEN discuss.”
To me, that would be really, annoyingly, and arrogantly unsatisfying, which is how I feel about the comment policy at MSA.
by maymay
21 Oct 2009 at 17:59
Sera,
Yes, it is absolutely my intended effect to ensure that the content on the site with which I have an intentional and thoughtfully crafted message remains my own. I take great pains to ensure that I do not hinder the ability of someone else to do the same thing, which is why all original Male Submission Art work (typically the text) is licensed under an extremely generous CC-BY license.
Again, you’re absolutely spot-on. There are pros and cons, causes and effects, to every action. I don’t expect people to make the same choices I do, but I do hold them—and myself—to the standard of thinking about actions before they take action that affects others. I don’t view a lack of a comment form as a barrier to a thoughtful exchange of ideas, but rather as raising the bar of thoughtfulness on the exchange of ideas that I want to see happen.
There are many standard ways of communicating. I made a conscious choice to effectively promote the ones that I wanted to see people using in relation to my work, and not others. For example, I also sometimes put up an away message or even sign off of instant messenger programs to avoid getting an IM because I don’t want to be contacted that way at that time. Even though an IM might be more convenient for you than writing an email, would you hold it against me if I chose not to stay online and available 24/7 for your incoming IM messages?
Since I really like a lot of what you say on your blog, I hope to see more of your opinions and thoughts about Male Submission Art there. :)
by sera
21 Oct 2009 at 23:02
Maymay . . . Understood; sorry about my rant-like mood when I wrote this. I agree in general that choices have consequences (with pros and cons), that people should work to design virtual spaces thoughtfully, and that we needn’t take accepted formats for granted when rethinking them will suit our purposes better.
Plus, your method does have the advantage of actually encouraging me to write on my own blog. ;)
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