It’s my blog, and I’ll post what I want to. And today, I want to post this:
[T]hey were coming from an unashamed left perspective on [Kink On Tap….]
I got sooo much information that I’m already applying to my perception of gender in the real world. And just a lot more understanding of how people who incorporate BDSM into their lives arent’ mentally ill, which is often the only way that they are identified in certain parts of the world. And there was some great stuff on sex work and ethical pornography…
[…I]f you think Kink On Tap is a minefield with one-sided opinions then think of the good stuff in the rest of the stuff out there as finding needles in haystacks. (The good stuff and/or the stuff that’s relevant to your interests.) The problem with the world of all this ‘kink’ and sexuality stuff is that there is absolutely nowhere else where things get spoken about on such a level playing field…so many disparate topics with no one afraid to just ask ‘I don’t understand, can you please explain?’ The BDSM community can be just as judgmental and exclusive as any other, and Kink On Tap often had people with very disparate opinions asking each other why they thought that way…
It isn’t a podcast that fits an agenda, as all the other podcasts and blogs out there pretty much do. They’re set to a very small audience and often are full of advertising for products I really don’t want to endorse in any way (pornography I object to, sex toy manufacturers with debatable ethics). When I found Kink On Tap I was elated to find people talking about things that interested me without making me feel like I had to already know everything, or made it a fetishised space, incompatible with ‘normal’ ways of thinking.
Which is why I’m so sad to hear it’s ending. :( Number 67 will be the last cast, or at least the last for a long time. May is suffering a lot from mental health and personal issues and no one around him has been able to help with the technical aspects of the show, and he’s become really bitter about this. So he’s stopping, because it’s not fun anymore. This is where he talks about some of the impact the cast has had on him and others, and his view of the world (which is unapologetically opinionated).
So I’m going to have to keep trawling through (literally) a hundred blogs and feeds, and a dozen sexuality related podcasts, to find the nuggets of humanity that I can relate to or find useful in interactions in the world…it takes so much energy to find what was so effortlessly in Kink on Tap (for me).
Wow. (Here’s some background.)
Thanks. This made my night.
by Katrina
05 Dec 2010 at 09:10
You’re completely welcome :).
Finding an entry point into the kinds of discussions you have had on Kink on Tap are the hardest part, I think. That’s what I was trying to do by sharing the cast with a friend…but it’s so hard to see the forest for the trees, especially when I had the luxury of being able to listen to several hours of the cast as soon as I discovered it. I can’t remember the point at which I felt I was among peers, but you are genuinely welcoming and I’m so grateful for that.
What I said about the other blogs and podcasts absolutely stands, it’s ridiculous how ad and agenda driven podcasts are in general, let alone sexuality concerned ones. Having listened to podcasts for about 6 years I’ve seen the medium become increasingly commercialised and podcasts that are truly content and host/guest driven stand out completely for me.
Hours of conversation have been fueled by the podcast, I’ve passed the full series of episodes onto several people and I’m never going to stop encouraging people to listen. <3 <3 <3 Diversity and tolerance are love.
by Pinkwhip
07 Dec 2010 at 21:29
As someone who literally found Kink on Tap YESTERDAY, you might imagine how sad I felt to hear your latest cast. Actually, beyound sad, really disheartened. For two reasons: 1) the topic, guests, quality of the show, etc.; and 2) YOU – you are truly a talent and I have a feeling that you know it, but you don’t know it; that you clearly respect the work you are doing and know it’s valuable, but may not know how to turn that value into a sustainable business (for profit or not for profit doesn’t matter). And while I appreciate the sentiment of non-commercialism, etc., the biggest truth is for any entrepreneur, visionary, expert (which you are definitely all three and more) is that it is near impossible to do a venture like this alone and without funding. What you are delivering has huge value and monetizing your venture and creating a business model in a way that fits your philosophy, ethics and tastes, is SO WITHIN THE WORLD OF POSSIBLE that I just have to ask: If you did have the funding and the personnel (and maybe personal) support – like a online marketing VA, a producer, a publicist, an accountant, a business strategist, maybe a coach for “head space” support, would you continue? It kills me to no end (and, of course, I don’t know the full story or all your reasons so I realize this is very assumptive, but I felt compelled), that something of this quality and value, led by such a passionate and obviously smart and quality focused leader, who is also an expert in both the topic and in media (because great interviewers and hosts are truly few and far between and quality programs and efforts like this are as well), would die simply through what seems to be a lack of the kind of support that really counts when it comes to business success – even given that that lack of real, tangible support is usually brought about by that same someone making the big mistake most entrepreneurs make – which is not putting a real value on what they are doing and trying to do it alone and/or without the right kind of partners, investors, revenue plan, etc. Certainly, I agree that it’s nice to be in ad free environment, but actually this is the kind of mission and program that usually attracts sponsors, and over which you can have control over message to an extent – think NPR. I hate to say this because I don’t want to make you cringe, but thinking that $2 is awfully, pitifully, pathetically little to ask for something with the value prop you’ve got and the promise of quality information beyond what you can find anywhere else and the sheer high-end, intelligent entertainment value you bringing to your community and others. Your guests are excellent, you are excellent, if money is not the issue, it SHOULD BE the issue because people deserve to be paid for their excellent work, and I hope you might consider exploring some type of scenario where you could support yourself, this project and others via adequate revenue and adequate staffing. Again, just plain depressed that your cast won’t be in my future for long – and dying to support you in visioning a model that actually works without killing you. There are probably others business types out here like me, who heard your latest cast and are thinking “duh, of course you can’t do this alone – duh – had no idea he didn’t have support, revenue, etc. If only he could see all the ways there are to turn this project into something that would support him without having to compromise his brand, standards or morals.”
Just hoping you consider the option of becoming filthy rich doing something you love, that helps others tremendously and is just plain well done. That you’ll consider capitalizing on the huge amount of success you’ve already created. And that you’ll consider completing your mission with a new mindset and model.
Again, you’re obviously very smart and talented, so please know that I don’t mean to imply that you don’t know business or various models/avenues available. It’s just that in my work coaching entrepreneurs – super smart experts in their fields – it turns out that basically none of them create with revenue and support in mind – they do it as they go and it never works. It seems as though that part is just something people who are passionate about their missions leave out of their plan – they ARE smart, they get it when they learn it, but they didn’t do it from the get-go and they have to go back and do it now in order to survive and be happy – so being very assumptive in guessing that you MAY fit in that category. And, of course, if you don’t fit in there, let me just say that I wish you the best in whatever you do next and wish you all the love and support in the world. You created an amazing thing here – congratulations on having had an impact and changing the world.
by maymay
08 Dec 2010 at 11:35
I really appreciate the vote of confidence, Pinkwhip. :)
What you may not know is that I received numerous offers of sponsorship and rejected them all. (None lived up to my standards of quality or ethics.) I got to a point where I needed more personal support than personnel support, although I’m sure having one or the other would have buffered me for a time and, ultimately, I agree that I need both.
As you noted, great creations come from people who don’t think much about the business—and I certainly could care less about originating a good business for the sake of a capitalist endeavor—so I don’t feel at all offended or slighted for being called out on my lack of sustainable business process when it came to Kink On Tap. :)
Again, thanks.