I’m puzzled that neither you nor any of the subsequent commenters mentioned the work of maymay, both in exposing the problems of Fetlife and providing a work-around for the problem of abuse reports being censored, namely the PAT-Fetlife browser extension. It highlights people who’ve had abuse reports against them in yellow as you browse the site, and you can find out what the reports are (and whether to ignore them or not – some are just trolling) by clicking their profile. Maymay’s been doing some pretty unethical things to promote the tools (a viral marketing campaign telling people to ‘kill themselves’ on twitter for instance) which I don’t agree with, but I think the tools themselves still should be publicised and used. The code for them is publicly available, so they could be taken from maymay and hosted by someone more impartial and trusted. The more of us who use them, the safer Fetlife becomes for those who still want to use it.

It seems unlikely that you’d accidentally leave maymay out of a discussion like this (even just to disapprove of them) so my conclusion is that you’re trying to deny them the oxygen of publicity because you disapprove of their methods. In which case, perhaps this comment will not be published. I do think the PAT-Fetlife tool is too important to ignore, though.

Comment by Anonymous on Safe Words, one of a slew of articles talking about the undeniable epidemic of rape perpetrated by supposedly “consent-positive” BDSM community members that totally ignores any mention whatsoever of, well, anything that might actually make a difference.

Also, I didn’t realize telling people whose first interaction with me is telling me that I’m “garbage” to kill themselves amounts to “a viral marketing campaign,” but, hey, at least this person has the right idea with respect to what marketing campaigns are: efforts to get you to kill yourself.

If any of you are marketers, kill yourselves. But seriously. If you are, do.

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