The binary consent models only consider two-thirds of the scope of an interaction that involves a withdrawing of consent: everything that leads up to the breach, and the breach. They posit that these are the only determinants of “was it rape?”, not anything that happens afterward. My partner was terrified they’d assaulted me, but everything that makes the difference between an accident and an assault happened *after* the incident itself. What we did afterward made it an accident—and, in the long run, actually kind of a fortuitous one, given what we’ve learned from it.
—Part of a comment by Meredith on my essay, “You Can Take It Back: Consent as a Felt Sense”
See also:
- Etymologically, “consent†(com – with, sentire – to feel) suggests “collaborative sensing.†But that’s not how we’ve been taught to understand our own experiences of consent.
- Radical Ethicism 101, Part 1: What is consensuality? and Radical Ethicism 101, Part 2: Ethic of Consent, applied
- Explaining “Dominants are rapists†in excruciating detail: a step-by-step walkthrough
- No good excuse for not building sexual violence prevention tools into every social network on the Internet
by Yingtai
13 Mar 2014 at 15:51
Well said. I’m going to remember this when I write my post on how consent is not about good enough, it’s about better.