Author Archive

On release of 12th installment of the FetLife Meat List, publication of third feature “How FetLife Failed” article in 3 months

Last week, Mikandi, the third-party app store entirely devoted to porn apps, published a feature article titled “The FetLife Meatlist: How A Social Network Failed Its Users” detailing the continued regular releases of installments of Mircea Popescu’s infamous catalog of FetLife profiles of young women. This marks the third feature article in a mainstream online […]

According to their customer records, FetLife is a porn site, not a social network, whose paying customers are 13 times more likely to be rapists than non-paying users

There was a predictable outcry from pro-BDSM bloggers like Rebecca Hiles when the “FetLife Meat List,” a simple spreadsheet cataloging the FetLife usernames and basic profile info of 30,000 users who identified themselves as female and under 30 years old, was released. But as usual, all Social Justice Warrior rhetoric condemning the list was shortsighted […]

600 words about wake-up sex and whether you’re a rapist or not for doing it

The terminology around sexual consent that unquietpirate and I popularized in our essay You Can Take It Back: Consent as a Felt Sense, continues to take root in discourses about sexual ethics. This time, it’s an answer to the somewhat clichéd question, “Is waking up my partner with oral sex rape?” There’s two different senses […]

The FetLife Creeplist, Volume 1

Here is a list of the first 3,730 of FetLife’s financial supporters who are male- and dominant-identified. More specifically, this list contains the FetLife user ID number, name, age, location, and number of “friends” of most FetLife users who purchased a premium FetLife membership and who self-identify as male and one of either “Dom,” “Master,” or “Top” on their FetLife profiles. I hereby dub this the FetLife Creeplist, Volume 1.

(Interactive table on maybemaimed.com powered by Inline Google Spreadsheet Viewer.)

This list was trimmed from a publicly-available dataset of over one-and-a-half million FetLife users’ basic profile information. That bigger list is also available for anyone to download from here, or here. But it’s much more interesting when only a specific demographic is targeted, isn’t it? ;)

A short etymological exploration of consent, or, Contractual consent and the privatization of experience

I was curious about the etymology of “contract” after remembering that the etymology of “consent” is actually literally “to feel together,” itself a formulation of the Latin “con-” prefix (meaning “with”) and “sentire” (meaning “to feel”). Contract, perhaps unsurprisingly, is much more direct. It is from the Latin “contractus,” which means exactly the same thing […]

Remember, remember.

I met Staci Newmahr shortly after I turned 18. At that time, the pseudo-public playspaces and “dungeons” of the early 2000’s S&M subculture defined “young” as “anyone who was not yet 40 years old, or 35 at least.” Despite being about a decade my senior, Staci (who would go on to author a widely acclaimed […]

© 2010–2021 by maymay under a creative-commons attribution, non-commerical, no-derivative works license. (CC BY-NC-ND)
This blog is my Work, free to the world. If it moves you, please help me keep doing this Work by sharing some of your food, shelter, or money. Thank you!
Wholesale republishing and redistributing any of my work is encouraged.