Archive for the ‘Chastity/Orgasm denial’ Category

In which I am an asshole about sexual authoritarianism

As I’ve said before, perhaps my favorite bona-fide sex blogger ever is Thumper. Beyond simply being my favorite, he’s also one of, if not the best-known, writer on the fetish of male chastity/orgasm control (linked by mainstream sex-advice columnist Dan Savage),1 which I happen to strongly share with him. However, almost a year ago I started […]

How to maintain a not-fucked-up D/s relationship

Knowing that something I’ve done has made it easier for other people to live the sexually fulfilling lives they want is sometimes the only thing keeping me alive these days. So I was more than a little chuffed to read that Thumper drew from a post I wrote in 2007 called “How not to fuck […]

A primatologist’s suggestions for happier orgasm control

Y’know, despite all the politics and recent dramas surrounding me and my work, sometimes it is about the sex. Lately, I’ve been wanting to write more about sex but between making rent and bills and the aforementioned dramas, it’s just not that easy. I got to a point where I’ve put myself far enough in […]

Orgasm Denial Does Not Submissive Men Make

One of the things that has seriously bugged me for a very long time is how lots of people think about submissiveness, particularly but not necessarily as it relates to male sexuality. It bugs me because for all the lip service paid to respecting submission, very little about the way it’s discussed actually seems to […]

Equating passivity with sexual submissiveness is a stupid mistake

This weekend I’m making a concerted effort to spend more time than I might otherwise with Eileen because we’ve been enjoying reconnecting with kink lately and there is just so much work to do during our “normal” days. Once again, as part of tasks she had charged me with accomplishing, Eileen wanted me to write […]

I like feeling like a beginner again

Things have been a little bit busy in my life lately, and for once the busyness has not been solely professionally-driven. Though I am working on a number of very exciting things, my days have been excitingly full because after I work hard, I come home to Eileen and we play hard. The play, however, […]

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