If Alice uses Bob for her sexual gratification, there is nothing she can do to make that objectification right. Bob and Bob alone has that power. In my mind, submission isn’t just some kink that some people have. Submission is the voluntary use of one’s own power to become the means to someone else’s end. […]
Archive for the ‘D/s dynamics’ Category
“The kink/BDSM community isn’t trying to end rape culture. They’re trying to eroticize it.”
27 Jun 2014 at 14:08
maymay
BDSM psychology, Community, D/s dynamics, Myths and misconceptions, Politics of sex
The kink/BDSM community isn’t trying to end rape culture. They’re trying to eroticize it. We already have a society in which relationship role models are so thoroughly intoxicated with abuser dynamics that most people don’t even know what consenting feels like. By celebrating this state of affairs and attempting to normalize the explicit eroticization of […]
Dominants are rapists.
25 Oct 2013 at 11:14
maymay
BDSM psychology, BDSM safety, Beginner BDSM, Communication, D/s dynamics, Politics of sex, Stupid dominants, Stupid submissives
KinkInExile has a short and to the point post up replying to a post by Ferns that bemoans what she sees as changing attitudes towards dominance and submission among younger BDSM practitioners. Ferns wrote: [M]ostly, what young people are doing is Really Good Stuff. They are, for the most part, smart and thoughtful and considerate […]
Never, ever assume you need permission from a dominant person to speak to a submissive person
16 Jul 2012 at 15:20
maymay
Beginner BDSM, D/s dynamics, Myths and misconceptions, Politics of sex, Rant, Stupid dominants, Stupid submissives
This one’s easy and yet the difficulty with which most people who participate in the BDSM Scene get this wrong speaks volumes about their ignorance and complicity in oppression culture. So easy, this whole post could’ve just been the title: Never, ever assume you need permission from a dominant person to speak to a submissive […]
“Good boy,” and other kinds of complicated sex
31 Mar 2011 at 12:54
maymay
BDSM psychology, BDSM terminology, Beginner BDSM, D/s dynamics, Politics of sex, Sexism
Imagine my pleasant surprise when my Internet radar picked up a great post by a thoughtful new feminist BDSM blogger. FeministSub has a thing or two (or three) to say about the phrase “good girl” worth pointing out: “Good girl.†I don’t think there’s anything that captures my mixed feelings about submission like that phrase. […]
How to maintain a not-fucked-up D/s relationship
28 Oct 2010 at 23:06
maymay
BDSM psychology, Chastity/Orgasm denial, Communication, D/s dynamics, Sex
Knowing that something I’ve done has made it easier for other people to live the sexually fulfilling lives they want is sometimes the only thing keeping me alive these days. So I was more than a little chuffed to read that Thumper drew from a post I wrote in 2007 called “How not to fuck […]
