Archive for the ‘Masculinity’ Category

In which I am an asshole about sexual authoritarianism

As I’ve said before, perhaps my favorite bona-fide sex blogger ever is Thumper. Beyond simply being my favorite, he’s also one of, if not the best-known, writer on the fetish of male chastity/orgasm control (linked by mainstream sex-advice columnist Dan Savage),1 which I happen to strongly share with him. However, almost a year ago I started […]

The BDSM community ghetto, and other cultural problems

Some months back, while I was still using my sanitized outside voice, Alice Archer contacted me for an article she was doing about “The Changing Face of Female Domination,” slated to be published in Filament Magazine. Now that the article is out (a preview is available if you turn to page 34, and have Flash), […]

It’s not changing the world that’s hard

What will it take for the silent majority to speak up?

I am uniquely privileged: because of my relative self-sufficiency, I am loudly, unabashedly out of the closet. This gives me a certain power; I make no bones about wielding it. Unfortunately, not everyone enjoys the ability to be wholly and publicly authentic about who they are because standing up for what you believe in can […]

On the Importance and Lack Thereof of Sexual Intercourse

When I look back on the past two years of my life, I’m taken aback at the incredible amount of change. I’ve written about much of this change, from my shifting professional aspirations, to my blossoming activism, to my personal struggles. But one thing I almost totally stopped writing about ever since Eileen and I […]

Orgasm Denial Does Not Submissive Men Make

One of the things that has seriously bugged me for a very long time is how lots of people think about submissiveness, particularly but not necessarily as it relates to male sexuality. It bugs me because for all the lip service paid to respecting submission, very little about the way it’s discussed actually seems to […]

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