Of the many questions that often come up when discussing BDSM are questions concerning the distinction between consensual sadomasochism and self-harm, or self-mutilation. This is not surprising because, from the perspective of an onlooker and especially when taken out of context, many masochistic behaviors like knife play look similar to arguably unhealthy behaviors such as […]
Archive for the ‘Masochism’ Category
Why self-harm has nothing to do with BDSM
Equating passivity with sexual submissiveness is a stupid mistake
25 Oct 2008 at 22:10
maymay
BDSM psychology, BDSM techniques, Chastity/Orgasm denial, Communication, D/s dynamics, Fantasy, Femdom, Masochism, Myths and misconceptions, Personal experience, Relationship, Technology
This weekend I’m making a concerted effort to spend more time than I might otherwise with Eileen because we’ve been enjoying reconnecting with kink lately and there is just so much work to do during our “normal” days. Once again, as part of tasks she had charged me with accomplishing, Eileen wanted me to write […]
The Gadfly publishes an interview with myself and the VP of CV
21 Apr 2008 at 20:42
maymay
BDSM in the media, BDSM psychology, BDSM safety, BDSM terminology, Beginner BDSM, Community, Masochism, Sex
This is probably old news to a lot of you, but for those who don’t keep up with news from Conversio Virium, I wanted to direct your attention (however briefly) to the latest issue of The Gadfly, Columbia University’s undergraduate philosophy magazine. As part of their Winter 2008 issue, the Gadfly has published excerpts of […]
One, sir: On Titles in Scenes
08 Feb 2008 at 20:14
maymay
BDSM psychology, BDSM terminology, Beginner BDSM, D/s dynamics, Exhibitionism, Masochism, Myths and misconceptions, Personal experience, Whipping, Writing and blogging
Reading through my own personal journal’s archives reminded me of how early on many of the thoughts, feelings, and ideas that I express today have been inside of me. It’s also shown me how some things changed, and looking at which things have changed and which have not is an interesting pursuit in itself. This […]
It doesn’t matter if she’s got a brain when your dick is in her
29 Dec 2007 at 04:51
maymay
BDSM psychology, Communication, D/s dynamics, Emotions, Erotica and pornography, Masochism, Sex
The other day, Debauchette wrote the introduction to a post called On Boys and Pornography that promised to be a very interesting one. If you say, “Can I come on your face?†or if you try to come on my face, I’ll assume you’ve watched a great deal of porn in your life. Indeed, porn […]
How an outdated view of masculinity ignores the needs of all men
18 Dec 2007 at 17:53
maymay
BDSM psychology, Communication, D/s dynamics, Emotions, Femdom, Gender fluidity, Male sexuality, Masculinity, Masochism, Myths and misconceptions, Politics of sex, Polyamory, Relationship, Sex, Sexism, Vanilla life
La Belle Dame Sans Merci As his posts usually do these days, this post of Figleaf’s got me thinking about personal needs, how we provide for those needs, and how those needs become needs in the first place. In it, he says: Just as we indoctrinate men to strive so mightily to provide that they/we […]
