Archive for the ‘Rant’ Category

Never, ever assume you need permission from a dominant person to speak to a submissive person

This one’s easy and yet the difficulty with which most people who participate in the BDSM Scene get this wrong speaks volumes about their ignorance and complicity in oppression culture. So easy, this whole post could’ve just been the title: Never, ever assume you need permission from a dominant person to speak to a submissive […]

What porn companies can learn from the Giffords shooting

First, a couple important points. I hate Kink, Inc.1 2 That does not mean I want them eradicated—they have been doing a shitty job of it, but I believe have made the world a (slightly) better place on balance—it means I have incredibly negative feelings for them that are far, far stronger than mere disapproval […]

Community? Fuck the community. This isn’t for them, anyway.

That word gets bandied around a lot: “community.” It’s a stupid word. It doesn’t mean anything unless you define it, and since everyone has a different definition of what it means, you always have to define it. Which means you can’t ever use it and trust that what you say is what other people hear. […]

I am no Hercules

Earlier this evening, I recorded what may be one of the final Kink On Tap shows, Kink On Tap Episode 67. In addition to making that announcement, there were some more things I strongly felt needed saying. I basically sat down and wrote a stream-of-consciousness set of notes from which I based what I wanted […]

On the Danger of the Desire to Constrain

Dear Internet, the following thoughts have just occurred to me. What do you think about them? Some people would say that there are two kinds of people in this world: people who think desires should be encouraged, and people who think desires should be constrained. When it comes to sex, the former tend to call […]

Honor thy language: “kinky” is an adjective, not an activity

Since I was a boy, I have been confronted with the maddening reality of being told to second-guess myself, that due to who I am (a person diagnosed with bipolar disorder) I can’t trust my own thoughts or feelings. Then I grew up and I learned that certain words do not mean to others what […]

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