Archive for the ‘Stupid submissives’ Category

Dear Lori Adorable, regurgitating sex-positive cliches is cowardly denialism of abusive BDSM

theotherside-205 asked: (1 of 2) I want to say thank you for your commentary on the post pathologizing survivors who engage in kink. I started following you yesterday because I’d been triggered by a lot of posts on my dash about how kink is inherently problematic, sometimes adding, “But I guess I don’t hate survivors […]

Why attacking Predator Alert Tools backfire on attackers

What appears at first to be a somewhat understandable request by a woman named Anna Dawn Brecht to be removed from the Predator Alert Tool for FetLife database turns into a desire to shut the system down for everyone, regardless of its benefits for others. With the help of her “Dominant,” a long-time FetLife user who goes by the name CarolyneTiler, but whose legal name is Caroline Tyler and, according to her LinkedIn profile, works as a technologist for medical software company EMIS, the pair launch a denial of service attack against PAT-FetLife, which ultimately results in the further distribution of information they want buried.

In the end, Anna Brecht (aka “MarmiteGirl” or “CarolynesRose” on FetLife) and her cohort of attackers succeed only in proving that trying to take down what is still the only warning tool for rape survivors on FetLife isn’t merely a shitty way for supposed advocates of a “Safe, Sane, and Consensual” so-called “lifestyle” to behave, it also offers an exceptionally reliable indicator—undeniable, even—that those attackers should be included in the Predator Alert Tool’s database itself.

If someone violates your consent, you can report it. Likewise, if someone writes hateful reports about you (like “this person is a whiny drama queen”), and you can guess who did it, report that too. If you see spam reports (like “violated my consent by being hot as hell”) in the database and you think you know who’s doing it, report that too. The more someone tries to misuse Predator Alert Tool, the more information about their misuse is available. In other words, Predator Alert Tool is antifragile; damage and chaos don’t break the system, they help it grow.

This post explains why and how attacking Predator Alert Tools backfire on attackers. It also details this week’s denial-of-service attack against Predator Alert Tool for FetLife, provides a profile of the attackers in question, some information about mitigation strategies, and asks for input from you, the survivor support community, about how to best respond to such attacks in the future.

Read the full post.

Dominants are rapists.

KinkInExile has a short and to the point post up replying to a post by Ferns that bemoans what she sees as changing attitudes towards dominance and submission among younger BDSM practitioners. Ferns wrote: [M]ostly, what young people are doing is Really Good Stuff. They are, for the most part, smart and thoughtful and considerate […]

Never, ever assume you need permission from a dominant person to speak to a submissive person

This one’s easy and yet the difficulty with which most people who participate in the BDSM Scene get this wrong speaks volumes about their ignorance and complicity in oppression culture. So easy, this whole post could’ve just been the title: Never, ever assume you need permission from a dominant person to speak to a submissive […]

FetLife fallout: the best and the worst early responses to “FetLife Considered Harmful”

The following are three replies I wrote to several threads within FetLife that I started regarding my post, FetLife Considered Harmful: The Risks of Sex Ghettoization. They exemplify some of the best and the worst early responses to my presentation, and in many cases perfectly showcase the kind of imbecilic, lazy, self-consoling thinking so common […]

In which I am an asshole about sexual authoritarianism

As I’ve said before, perhaps my favorite bona-fide sex blogger ever is Thumper. Beyond simply being my favorite, he’s also one of, if not the best-known, writer on the fetish of male chastity/orgasm control (linked by mainstream sex-advice columnist Dan Savage),1 which I happen to strongly share with him. However, almost a year ago I started […]

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