I’m constantly receiving amazingly kind praise for the work I put into MaleSubmissionArt.com. Here are just a few of the nice things people are sending me:
“Honest and thoughtful site”
[T]hank you for your honest and thoughtful site. There was a definite need for this; the exploration and the validation. I will be passing by regularly from now on. Such breath-taking beauty, how could I resist?
I came upon your blogs after I had an online debate with someone about why men are “just not as attractive naked” as women are. This was on a public forum, and without fail everyoneâ€”regardless of genderâ€”agreed: women are made for looking at, and men aren’t. I found myself saying that, well, of course women are not as visually oriented as men are, and so we don’t mind not having much to look at.
I was uncomfortable with my own words, though, and mulled over the conversation for a while. The fact is that I’m a woman, and I’m intensely visual. I’m attracted to men, so why would I not find naked men attractive? Maybe I was just looking at the wrong men. I began searching online. I’ll spare you the details of my search; I think you can guess the kind of stuff I found!
One day, I stumbled on your malesubmissionart blog. Eureka! What a validation to find that not only are there photos which I find sexy, but also that someone else in the world is talking sense about them. And that someone else is talking sense about the other stuff I’ve seen, and offering an explanation of why it doesn’t work for me. I enjoy reading your posts and your takes on the artwork.
â€”Karen (from an email message)
“Changed my life for the better”
I just wanted to thank you. I am a young woman and even though Iâ€™ve known I was submissive for quite a while, Iâ€™ve had a hard time reconciling that with my strong personality. Your comments, though, have inspired me to go looking for a dom willing to work as hard for me as Iâ€™ll work for them. Iâ€™m pretty sure youâ€™ve changed my life for the better and I sincerely appreciate it. Thank you.
“new, interesting, and interestingly subversive”
Before I became a translator, I was working on what might have become a book exploring male heterosexuality and pornography, of course, was one of the things I was researching. At the time, I was very disappointed at the narrowness and often impoverished nature of the discourse I found not only about the representation of men in heterosexual video pornography (which was what I was looking at) but also in pornography that was touted as progressive and even feminist. Perhaps one day I will return to that project, but in the mean time I have been enjoying Male Submission Art, the mission of which is to â€œshowcase beautiful imagery where men and other male-identified people are submissive subjects. We aim to challenge stereotypes of the â€˜patheticâ€™ submissive man.â€ The images are often very cool, and what I like about the analysis is that its core tenet seems to be that for a man to â€œsubmitâ€ (whatever that word might mean in any given context) is not, by definition, for him to unman himself or to be unmanned by the one he is submitting to (whatever to â€œunmanâ€ might mean in any given context). Leaving aside the question of whether the particular sexuality expressed by the site is oneâ€™s cup of tea or not, it isâ€“for me, anywayâ€“a new, interesting and interestingly subversive way of trying to transform what we mean when we say the words â€œmanhoodâ€ or â€œmasculinity.â€
“truly trans-inclusive erotica collection”
Iâ€™ve noticed that trans men (like myself) tend not to be included in collections of erotic photos of men, regardless of the other subject matter. Itâ€™s nice to see a truly trans-inclusive erotica collection which doesnâ€™t rely on othering trans men, or painting us as â€œnot really men.â€
“pictures you’ve posted have been enthralling”
I am so wonderfully thrilled to have found [MaleSubmissionArt.com]. Iâ€™ve ranted about the exact same subject in my livejournal before. The pictures youâ€™ve posted have been enthralling, thank you so much. Iâ€™ll definitely keep my eyes open looking for some to suggest.
“I’ve found things here that reflect our relationship”
What a great idea and site youâ€™ve created. As a hetero male sub, Iâ€™ve grown up looking at traditional Femdom images. Yes, I â€œget offâ€ on it often, but there was always something missing: the tender, loving feelings I have and share with my Mistress.
Best of all, Iâ€™ve found things here that reflect our relationship (and other things) which I can send to her because I know she will enjoy them.
“The more I started looking at it, the more and more it seemed to resonate with me”
MaleSubmissionArt changed my mental landscape. [It] changed my life.
I felt like I really needed to just sit down and write to you to thank you. Male Submission Art has changed my life. I don’t remember how I came across the websiteâ€”linked from SugarButch, maybe?â€”but it’s not the type of porn I would have sought out. The more I started looking at it, the more and more it seemed to resonate with me, and I wasn’t sure why. I’m not into male submissives, so I couldn’t understand why I was so turned on. And I was very, very turned on.
Anyway, what makes me want to write to you is that I’m not male. And up until a few months ago, I would never ever call myself submissive. I’m androgynous, female-by-default, but I don’t think of myself as a girl, ever. And I was clinging very strongly to ‘bottom’. [â€¦] I wasn’t anything like any of the subs I knew. I couldn’t call myself submissive because I couldn’t see how the way I felt and the way they felt was at all the same. They wore their “pain slut” and “heavy masochist” tags like badges of honor, like it was some kind of contest over how much they could take. Not meâ€”pain hurts! They were needy and clingy and rather obnoxious in everyday life; they didn’t make themselves anything of value to offer up. And I’m small, and often the only ‘girl’ in my group of friendsâ€”how predictable it would have been to be submissive as well!
A few months ago I was dancing around this, trying to figure out how to ask for the kind of sex and play I wanted as a bottom. I couldn’t find the words. The mechanics of masochism and sadism alone were ok, but weren’t enough. I said I was looking for “power” and “intensity,” that I needed a context to put the pain in for it to be satisfying. Then I came across your website, and started to see all these different images of submission. Something beautiful and valuable, a way to be strong and proud and yet not in control. Not something to be ashamed of, something you could really be proud of with good grounds. I guess I couldn’t admit what I wanted to myself until I saw submission with dignity and pride. And I couldn’t relate to it in images of female bodies.
Thanks, maymay. It’s still hard for me to say I’m submissive out loud, but I know it now. Your website has had a huge impact on how I think about myself and how I’m approaching my relationships, and I felt like you should know! [â€¦] I wanted you to know that you are making a big difference, even to people who might be outside your “target audience.”
â€”Spark (from an email)
“combination of sensitivity with eroticism”
Really great site that I [â€¦] have rarely if ever found: the combination of sensitivity with eroticism. Many thanks!
“Thank you for showing me it’s okay to be a strong, sexy woman”
[F]or a few months, I’ve been looking at malesubmissionart.com, but it’s been more of a passing interest. I’m happy to support anyone promoting every persons right to be whatever they want to be, without fear, embarrassment or opposition, and if it meant I could see photos of hot guys, I wouldn’t be complaining. So, when I wanted to find out more about that kind of thing, I thought your blog (maybemaimed.com) would be the best place to turn.
As I read through various posts, I became more interested, and started thinking about what I was reading in a personal context. In my fantasies, I’d always seen myself as a sub, because I’d never really thought about what it meant. But reading the posts “Is submissive intent influenced by orgasms?” and “The first blowjob Iâ€™ve ever bottomed to” made me realise I’m actually more domme (if only slightly). For me, years of porn and women’s magazines have left me expecting to be submissive, just because I’m female. And whilst yes, I could let someone take control of me, I enjoy taking that control myself because of the pleasure I can make others feel. I enjoy teasing guys purely to hear their response, and to know that I’ve made them react that way.
So thank you. Thank you for showing me who I am. Thank you for showing me it’s okay to be a strong, sexy woman who takes control (and not just as a one-off to turn a guy on -.-). And, because I cannot say it enough times to show how much it means, once again, thank you.
â€”Jenny (from an email)
“incredibly thought provoking, and a joy”
â€¦thank you for having Male Submission Art online. It’s incredibly hard to find anything in the BDSM area that actually celebrates things in a positive light.
As someone new to the area and just only now beginning to explore herself a little as a Domme, I am finding your site incredibly thought provoking, and a joy.
After having seen so many stereotypes on the web on what a Domme is or is not it is comforting to know that the “be a bitch and make every man cry role model” is just a stereotype and that there is room for more than one kind of Domme out there.
My view of BDSM in the past was that it was abusive, with sad little women crying on their knee’s â€¦ in short, what I saw of BDSM on the net frightened the ever loving hell right out of me. Until I was shown there are other sides to it, sides of care, nurturing and love all wrapped up in a blanket of sharing, desire, shared ideals and wants. In short, what I found was anything but abusive.
Please keep up the good work with your site, it makes me smile.
â€”Danielle (from an email)
“acute perception for the politics of an image”
You have a very acute perception for the politics of an image. For example, your selection of “April Fools’ ” images [1, 2, 3], juxtaposed with your usual selection, demonstrated clearly what can make one feel rather uncomfortable about some “mainstream” porn, and yet can often be difficult to put one’s finger on.
You have also found a great selection of sexualised images of men, from the artistic to the totally pornographic. Often, really sexy images of men are pigeonholed as “gay art”, which I think is rather reductive.
â€”Penny (from an email)
When I found your site, from here no less, I immediately sent the link â€™round to all my friends because your pictures are complete gold. Iâ€™ve always wanted some submissive art (for either gender) that showed that the man involved was actually enjoying it and being cared about rather than being degraded by some heartless force. Itâ€™s pornography in the technical term, and itâ€™s hot, but itâ€™s also just plain beautiful.
“something outside of the clichÃ©, that didn’t make me stick my nose in the air”
I want to thank you so much for your art website. I have known since I was teenager that I have slightly edgy and playful sexuality, but none of the imagery I encountered over the years connected with my own desires and I think that was one of the reasons I rejected or didn’t explore that side of myself for a long time. A year or so ago I became involved with a submissive man with complementary desires and, as we all do nowadays when trying something new, I turned to the Internet for a bit of guidance. Your website was one of the very few things (actually it may have been the only thing) I found that I could connect with and not just in terms of the content but also because of the thought that had gone into it, that every image included has been considered and analysed and that someone actually thought that was important to do. So thank you so much for your website and insightful comments. You have helped me by creating something outside of the clichÃ©, that didn’t make me stick my nose in the air and say this is not my thing, when deep down I know it is.
â€””Heather” (from an email)
“empowering to me, as a woman”
Thanks for both your blogs[â€¦]. They’ve both made me think and expand my horizons; I knew people didn’t always fit strictly into “kinky” or “vanilla”, but I had never thought that those categories could overlap such that something could fit into both. That’s one of the things I really like about Male Submission Art; it makes me think in addition to delivering porn. And the people seem very much like fully developed people, rather than just sex objects. Even though I’m not particularly into male submission, I’ve found some of the images very erotic. My two favorites (not just of your site, but of all images I’ve seen) are [the one of a man in the lap of a woman] and [the one of a man with his shirt unbuttoned and a woman on top of him], because they could be in a relationship that isn’t very dominant/submissive, but they still aren’t completely traditional sex roles; they’re empowering to me, as a woman; they make me more confident about being more active rather than passive in a relationship (both for my sake and for future boyfriends’).
â€”Natalie (from an email)
“now I have renewed hope”
Thank you for Male Submission Art. I long ago gave up on seeing men in pornographic situations without feeling vaguely uncomfortable, unable to relate to them, but now I have renewed hope, because I identified with these men in ways I never have before. [â€¦] It feels like you’ve eloquently responded to questions I never thought to ask, and questions I’d given up on answering. My brain’s racing, trying to assimilate where this puts meâ€”who I am[â€¦].
Most of all, thank you for giving me the knowledge that I’m not the problem. That I am not alone.
â€”Stereo (from an email)