Posts Tagged ‘agency’

What’s the difference between choice, permission, and consent as a felt sense?

The Rolequeer blog is having a conversation with an erotic author going by gleefullydepraved who misused the word “rolequeer” in a fascinatingly disturbing way, unsurprisingly, given their nom de plume. You don’t need to read their conversation to understand this essay, but it might provide some useful context to my remarks. I’m responding to gleefullydepraved […]

“Submission lies at the heart of what makes sex good. It’s possible to have sex without domination.”

If Alice uses Bob for her sexual gratification, there is nothing she can do to make that objectification right. Bob and Bob alone has that power. In my mind, submission isn’t just some kink that some people have. Submission is the voluntary use of one’s own power to become the means to someone else’s end. […]

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