Posts Tagged ‘BDSM is abuse’

Software Development as Direct Action

Search for FetLife profiles by all profile fields (age/sex/location/orientation/about me/looking for/number of pictures, and much more) without needing to login

So, this has been available for quite a while, but now that FetLife is actively removing links to it from venues they control (according to this tweet, which was part of this conversation, anyway), I figured it’s time to spread more links to it. :) Try it out: Log out of your FetLife account (if […]

Rolequeerness and Felt-Consent have escaped the filter bubble

R. Foxtale found the loveliest thing! :) In a /r/Anarchism discussion of Liberating Ourselves in the Boudoir: An Anarcha-Feminist Perspective Against BDSM, user ErnieMaclan put together this fabulous overview of some key ideas in rolequeer theory, with excerpts and everything I’ve already covered how the ideas in one of our earliest essays, consent as a […]

According to their customer records, FetLife is a porn site, not a social network, whose paying customers are 13 times more likely to be rapists than non-paying users

There was a predictable outcry from pro-BDSM bloggers like Rebecca Hiles when the “FetLife Meat List,” a simple spreadsheet cataloging the FetLife usernames and basic profile info of 30,000 users who identified themselves as female and under 30 years old, was released. But as usual, all Social Justice Warrior rhetoric condemning the list was shortsighted […]

Remember, remember.

I met Staci Newmahr shortly after I turned 18. At that time, the pseudo-public playspaces and “dungeons” of the early 2000’s S&M subculture defined “young” as “anyone who was not yet 40 years old, or 35 at least.” Despite being about a decade my senior, Staci (who would go on to author a widely acclaimed […]

What’s the difference between choice, permission, and consent as a felt sense?

The Rolequeer blog is having a conversation with an erotic author going by gleefullydepraved who misused the word “rolequeer” in a fascinatingly disturbing way, unsurprisingly, given their nom de plume. You don’t need to read their conversation to understand this essay, but it might provide some useful context to my remarks. I’m responding to gleefullydepraved […]

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