Posts Tagged ‘Consent as a Felt Sense’

600 words about wake-up sex and whether you’re a rapist or not for doing it

The terminology around sexual consent that unquietpirate and I popularized in our essay You Can Take It Back: Consent as a Felt Sense, continues to take root in discourses about sexual ethics. This time, it’s an answer to the somewhat clichéd question, “Is waking up my partner with oral sex rape?” There’s two different senses […]

A short etymological exploration of consent, or, Contractual consent and the privatization of experience

I was curious about the etymology of “contract” after remembering that the etymology of “consent” is actually literally “to feel together,” itself a formulation of the Latin “con-” prefix (meaning “with”) and “sentire” (meaning “to feel”). Contract, perhaps unsurprisingly, is much more direct. It is from the Latin “contractus,” which means exactly the same thing […]

What’s the difference between choice, permission, and consent as a felt sense?

The Rolequeer blog is having a conversation with an erotic author going by gleefullydepraved who misused the word “rolequeer” in a fascinatingly disturbing way, unsurprisingly, given their nom de plume. You don’t need to read their conversation to understand this essay, but it might provide some useful context to my remarks. I’m responding to gleefullydepraved […]

A case study in how abusive shitstains strawman Consent as a Felt Sense [“On Ethical Domination”]

(Posting anew so this will show up in #rolequeer tagspace.) theungrumpablegrinch: Maymay is annoyed with recent rolequeer discussion of domination, so I have a few words to add on the topic. Let’s say I have a friend and occasional lover; we’ll call him the Scotsman for reasons that may become apparent. One night I ask the […]

“I said yes. But I feel raped.”

PostSecret.com’s first Sunday Secret posted on November 8th, 2014: I said yes But I feel raped. A friend sent me this with a short note that read, “[Your] consent as felt work and helping society find and comprehend the distinction between consent and permission are important.” I’ve now penned over a dozen thousand words about […]

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