Posts Tagged ‘kink-critical’

How I would have coached my younger Submissive self to talk to BDSM’ers

Submissive person: I’m really intrigued by the notion of having sex tied up in some way. BDSM person: You should totes join us, then! We’ll show you the ropes. We’ll even teach you to like stuff you didn’t know you liked! Submissive person: That sounds…interesting…but…I’d rather just do this stuff I know I like, first. […]

How to have hot, kinky sex with other Submissives without inviting a Dom

FRIEND: Reading the blog posts [about rolequeerness] have also given me a glimpse into the problem I have with so much of the BDSM Scene. Like when I hear one submissive say they couldn’t play with another submissive because they wouldn’t take the lead. I always asked myself, “wait, what? Why?” ME: Oh that was […]

“D/s dynamic” is BDSM code for “be grateful when I rape you”

Stripped of its cultural dressage, identifying as a sadomasochistic “Dominant” (a “Dom”) is, at its core, a claim that you expect others to be grateful to you for violating their consent. While there are certainly some situations in which gratitude may be a legit reaction someone has to experiencing a consent violation, presupposing that this […]

“Submission lies at the heart of what makes sex good. It’s possible to have sex without domination.”

If Alice uses Bob for her sexual gratification, there is nothing she can do to make that objectification right. Bob and Bob alone has that power. In my mind, submission isn’t just some kink that some people have. Submission is the voluntary use of one’s own power to become the means to someone else’s end. […]

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